Codependency concerns
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Austin
Posts: 31
Codependency concerns
I live with my mom.
And after reading the list of "What Is Codependency?" here on SR, it seems that my mom is also codependent as well (as is shown by her actions).
What concerns me the most is that I am slowly adapting to her patterns and I don't like it, especially since I've had such a higher concentration of failed relationship attempts starting with when I moved back in. I dated 4, maybe 5 guys in a span of 6 years, all long term... Move back in, go through (no joke) 7 in a matter of two years.
Is it possible to become an Adult Child of an ACOA?
This is too much to be a coincidence and I would hate to place the blame on my mom though. She's a sweet lady, but lord knows she's Batsh!t Crazy when it comes to relating to other people.
Thoughts, anyone??? Should I move out?
And after reading the list of "What Is Codependency?" here on SR, it seems that my mom is also codependent as well (as is shown by her actions).
What concerns me the most is that I am slowly adapting to her patterns and I don't like it, especially since I've had such a higher concentration of failed relationship attempts starting with when I moved back in. I dated 4, maybe 5 guys in a span of 6 years, all long term... Move back in, go through (no joke) 7 in a matter of two years.
Is it possible to become an Adult Child of an ACOA?
This is too much to be a coincidence and I would hate to place the blame on my mom though. She's a sweet lady, but lord knows she's Batsh!t Crazy when it comes to relating to other people.
Thoughts, anyone??? Should I move out?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
I would fall into that category also. My grandmother was an alcoholic. My mother drank herself drunk for only 4 years, but they were very traumatic to me as I was a 13 year old when she started that shyte, and 17 when she found religion again and swept it all under the rug. Now she's a minister, but she has never acknowledged the things she did that affected me.
My mother was very codependent with my father who although didn't drink was an absolute tyrant.
I believe fully that we all need to get away from our parents and live separately as adults, no matter who or what our parents are. that distance can help us sort through what we own, what we don't, and help us to recognize patterns.
My mother was very codependent with my father who although didn't drink was an absolute tyrant.
I believe fully that we all need to get away from our parents and live separately as adults, no matter who or what our parents are. that distance can help us sort through what we own, what we don't, and help us to recognize patterns.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Move out if your current environment isn't working for you - regardless of the reasons why. No one else is going to take care of your well-being but you.
P.S. I lived with my Mom during a time where we both needed the support. When it was time to move on, we both knew it. The arrangement had served its purpose, and I look back on it with fondness but relief that I have my own space and life.
P.S. I lived with my Mom during a time where we both needed the support. When it was time to move on, we both knew it. The arrangement had served its purpose, and I look back on it with fondness but relief that I have my own space and life.
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