Should I stay in touch?
 

I am moving away from ABF next week (my new lease starts 9/15). Right now, I am only staying in our home during the week and leave him every weekend. Life has been somewhat peaceful but with the occasional guilt trip ("you hate me" or "since you dont love me anymore..." or "I would never leave you, but you are leaving me..."). He is still drinking 5-7 nights a week. When he is drinking, I go to bed early and just stay away from him. There is still a glimmer of the man I love in him, but mostly, he is consumed by his disease and has no interest in getting help.

I know a lot of you have been/are in my shoes. My question is, have you stayed in touch with your ex abf/husband? Were you able to have a friendship of any kind? Or is it best to just cut off all contact? I dont want to upset him, or "burn any bridges", but I just want to focus on me for awhile. I know the right thing to do is not speak with him anymore. I am just questioning how realistic that will be, and am curious as to what other people have been through.

Thanks!

Me, I found that staying in contact with an "A", was not a good idea...when it was over for me, it was over. Now, if their are minor children involved, some contact will be necessary until the child turns 18.

Personally, I could not stay in touch with my AXBF. There had to be a clear boundary for my own peace of mind. He was very good at taking advantage of any opening to try to manipulate me, and the only thing I could do was cease contact. Although it was very hard, I believe that sticking to no contact made it easier to move forward sooner.

I had those same queastions. I was told by several members "New Contact New Hurt." I didn't listen. It finally hit me after about 10 different instances. I finally wisened up. Go NC. I know better now.

I am not keeping in touch with my ex but I kind of doubt he wants to talk to me at this point either...

do you want to be his friend? If so I would wait 6 months to a year so you both have time to heal and recover.

In a nutshell? No.

Me neither, I don't see a point since there is nothing to discuss. And it helps to let go when there is no constant reminder hanging over my head.