rdlesstraveled

12 blissful, wonderful stress-free days of silence......

And then 5 minutes ago, it was shattered by the ringing of my work phone. I have caller-ID on my phone (THANK GOD) so I knew that it was him. I picked up the phone and slammed it down (kind of immature I know, but seeing his number really pisses me off!).

Now my stomach is in knots and I feel sick.

Although he is blocked from my cell phone and email, I can still send him a message (he just can't reply). Soooooooo I sent him this message: "You are blocked from sending me emails and calling/texting.
Obviously I am not interested in speaking with you.
Do NOT call my work number again"

Now I am mad at myself for my emotional reaction. I should have either: not picked up the phone at all or transferred his a$$ to campus police (like I said that I would do last time)

What pisses me off the most is that he is pompous enough to try to contact me even though I made it clear (at least I thought I did) that I no longer want to speak to him. Any normal person (oh yeah..... alcoholic thinking is not normal) would have a clue.

rdlesstraveled

I feel as if I have been doing so well...... and I guess that I still am, but my reaction to a phone call from him really scares me. I am still giving him power and that disgusts me.

GettingBy

Take a deep breath. You are in the middle of an emotional reaction.

Go take a short walk. Sit outside. and BREATH.


This will pass. Don't over analyze it.

rdlesstraveled

Thank you! I will step away from the computer for a few minutes and take a walk.

GettingBy

Excellent decision!!

Stepping away is usually the last thing I want to do when I'm in an emotional situation... but it is ALWAYS the best thing for me. It gives me a chance to calm myself and see options/solutions that may not be so obvious when I'm spinning.

Usually... I find that the best solution is to DO NOTHING.

SoaringSpirits

You did good. You reinforced your boundary. Good job!

Katiekate

You did soooo good!!!!

Better than I did in the early days

Tuffgirl

12 days and you did that? My goodness - 12 days and I was still screaming at my ex like a banshee on speed.

Good job! Feel proud of yourself! You handled that very well, indeed.

Thelma

I'd call that a knee jerk reaction at best and I hope you took that walk and are better for it. Why is it that when they make us react even the slightest bit after going NC we beat ourselves up worse than they ever did?

NWGRITS

I think you handled that well, but you did mention having tied a consequence onto his calling again. You didn't follow through, so I wouldn't put it past him to call again. That is, if he even remembered your threat in the first place. Next time he calls, transfer his a$$.

itsmylifenow

Don't beat yourself up over it. It really takes some time to get the reactive nature to stop after being in a R that required you to constantly be reacting.

I feel for you though. It's been 2 weeks of NC for me and I'm nervous that I might get an email or a phone call. Only because our history has been that way over the past few years.

We get to about the 3 week/month mark and one of us contacts the other, or we see each other and that triggers something.

Hopefully, he will leave you alone now