ZiggyB

I just got this book in the mail after seeing one of the members post about it.

Now I wish there are so many things I had done differently and I am filled with regrets, realizing how I contributed to the dynamic of his unhealthy relationship. Has anyone else experienced this?

Last night I was up late worrying but also thinking to myself, we have been broken up for two months maybe it's time to stop living in the past and figure out how I am going to make myself happy.

MsPINKAcres

yes there are many things I would have done differently in my past but I know I can't go back and make a new past ~

The wonderful gift is that I can make a new today & a new tomorrow by using what I learn thru this program of recovery ~ for me, it affects my daughters, my grandchildren and all the people I encounter along the way ~

Let go & Let God ~ You did the best you could with what you had at the time ~ today we know a different way and we try a different path ~

PINK HUGS,
Rita

dancingnow

Even though I can look back and wish I had done some things differently I always know as I go forward and do what I do the 3 C's still apply - I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I cannot cure it.

I can continue to regret my actions and I have at times but I am grateful for what comes into my life that helps me make healthier choices today and each day after.

ZiggyB

Thanks
Yes I know the 3 C's and that is helpful for me to keep in mind.

I think what I am regretting is my response to the disease and how angry and stressed out I became. Just wishing I had walked away and spared myself so much pain instead of getting enmeshed in this "fixer" role for so long.

I'm trying to let go... as time passes it seems to be getting a little easier

Tuffgirl

This may sound a bit arrogant, but I have only one regret and that is what my kids went through. The rest, well, I did the best I could with what tools I had available to me. I know I made mistakes along the way; we all do. But instead of being regretful about it, I choose instead to take pride in what I did right and learn lessons from what I did wrong, as to not repeat it in the future.

I think its easy to fall in the regrets trap, and as Ms Pink says above, there is no way we can change the past anyway.

LifeRecovery

I have struggled with that thinking too.

For me though the codependency was around prior to the relationship. The pain from the relationship was the catalyst to my healing. When I frame it as a life lesson I was going to have to learn it is much better for me.