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I Wasn't Sure Where To Post This ... So here it is. Once upon a time - I lived here on SR. Today - I've six years clean and sober. I wanted to share that with you all. When I found SR - I was still detoxing and should have been in hospital. Instead - I'd just started a new job as night auditor in yet another hotel and had it not been for the all night companionship and support I received here there's no way I would be writing this now. I would not be sober today were it not for SR. it's that simple. AA was not a big part of my life in early recovery - it WAS my life for I'd drank it all away destroyed everything and had no where else to go. So of course AA is the 3-D reason but SR picked up when the meetings ended and the Alano Club had to close. The people of SR kept me sober not by telling me what to do but by letting me help them in whatever way I could manage. After completing the steps and doing tons and tons of work lining one day up after another... I moved over here - to Friends & Family and began the second phase of recovery- Finding the Source. In my fourth Step the single thing I'd uncovered that I resented the most wasn't a person wasn't a happening wasn't a memory- it was a force. My greatest resentment - was love. :react Everything I'd ever been taught or had learned on my own about love was a lie. And after a few years sober like any alcoholic I began to pick at that resentment like constantly playing with a sore tooth. SO I came here. And it wasn't a big dramatic unraveling it wasn't painful and wasn't traumatic but the purpose was - to discover what love.. is. For all my life - I'd lived what love ... was not. I'd married the same man in four different skins. The same neglectful abusive story the same endings one more violent than the next... When I tried to 'see' what had happened- the concept itself was simply mystifying to me- a black abyss I had no idea how to cross. I only knew I couldn't do it alone. Like all insane alcoholics and codependents- I'd made the same mistakes over and over and as healing and repair occurred - relationships stood out as the next frontier that needed attending. I've been working on that ever since. Will never be complete I don't think but man am I ever healthier than I've ever been. Not physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. So .. there it is. Today is my birthday and you are why it is. So I came here - first to say thank you. :thanks OH! People often want to know what's going on - I'm still full time in school - changed my major and am going for a Masters in Art. I start in January at University of Montana. I've one more semester at Montana Tech and then there's nothing else I can take there in alignment with the new major. I challenged the first year - and was accepted. So I will begin UM as a second year art student. Some alcoholic things - can never change. (rulz? I got only the one rulz) I have this little secret wish to study in Madrid so am taking spanish this semester. But dont' tell anyone. I still intend to do art therapy I am just going to do it in such a way that my Art... will pay my bills, and the healing - I can simply give away. And that way I can do as Spirit directs for those who remember Barb - it resonates with me. Healing should always be free. On all levels. I'm on the Chancellor's list and did not receive any flack from anyone when I changed my major. So I'm clean, sober, and the world's oldest sophmore. Nothing like a little continual humility to keep an alcoholic in line! Stranger things have happened. Love , peace, and gratitude to all who I know and love here at SR. To those I dont yet know - welcome, thank you too, and never ever give up. :bday7 |
Happy Birthday Barb Dwyer, :) And congrats, so many accomplishments to be proud of. You are sooo awesome, thank you , from the bottom of my heart, for sharing. Katie xo |
Dear barb, I have been here for only about a year, and I am so glad that you posted here. today. I need to hear your message of hope and to know about your amazing journey. Your message has touched me deeply. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Barb!!! dandylion |
Barb, so good to see you. Happy 6th birthday. :scoregood Madrid is calling. Don't keep it a secret. Tell EVERYONE your dream. I did, and that's how I finally got to Europe-for free. |
There are no words to describe how I feel on reading this Barb, only tears. Tears of happiness & gratitude. Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings, Helen |
Happy Birthday Barb and thank you for being here when I first started. You were one of the many people who showed me that recovery is possible and gave me a taste of hope which was something I hadn't had for a long time. :grouphug: Your friend, |
So good to hear from you again, Barb. You have definitely been missed. Happy Birthday!!! Your story is so inspiring. Thank you for checking in and letting us know how well things are going for you. :hug: |
:bday7 You are an inspiration! Sounds like life is good and only getting better! :) |
Wow, that brought tears to my eyes... you are a true inspiration. Thank you so much for taking the time to share!! :day2 |
Thank you for sharing! What a blessing and sucess story! I wish you the very best in your life! |
Thanks Barb for coming back and sharing your birthday with us! You were such a help for me when I first came here and for that I'll always be grateful. Madrid is calling. |
Happy Birthday Barb! Your posts were always ones I looked out for and found that they resonated with me. Now I know why... all of us are broken but some of us were simply shattered and doomed to continue in a loop of destruction until we unravel ourselves and discover that the person we are REALLY looking for is us! You are farther ahead than I am in my own journey but I now know where I am going... maybe we will meet on a street in Madrid where you are painting a beautiful sunset. We are in the 3rd act and I know I am looking forward to the rest of my story... thanks for sharing yours along with your wisdom so many times in the past couple of years I have visited SR. |
:day2 Happy Birthday! You were one of the first people to welcome me when I came to SR and I still cherish your kindness and support. Thank you for sharing and for inspiring all of us. Best wishes and much luck to you with all of your plans! :You_Rock_ |
Happy Birthday!! What a beautiful story, Thank you so much for sharing. These programs are nothing short of miracles when you do the work and strive to become healthy. I love the experience, strength and hope you have shared. You are a living testament of the real thing. Keeping it real and keeping it clean. Taking care of yourself and being a healthy happy person. You GO GIRL! Much love to you from this day forward. Keep coming back. Stay honest. xo, Jody |
BD, so nice to hear from you and that you are doing so well! You were definitely a big influence on my in my early days on this forum. Life didn't turn out the way I had hoped then, but it becoming an even better version of it now. Your words and support had a hand in that. Thank you! Your plans sound lovely, and L2L is right, don't keep your dreams a secret. Tell the world, and pretty soon opportunities come up that will allow you to travel it! Happy Birthday, and take good care! ~T |
Happy birthday, and through your sobriety reach for those dreams, you deserve it! CLMI |
Happy Birthday, Barb!!! I'm SO glad you stopped by -- I've missed you and your sound advice! Lots of love to you! |
We miss you, Barb! We were just talking about you recently and wondered how you are doing. Thanks so much for the wonderful update and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you won't be a stranger. XOXO |
((((Barb!!!!)))). So good to see you, dear friend! And thrilled to hear all your good news and latest accomplishments! Congrats! Congrats! Congrats! Please do stay in touch, we love to hear from you and know you're doing so well! Much much love! Lenina |
Barb, it's so good to see you. What a great post, and good for you for following your dream. |
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