Sungrl

And I am starting to falter. He has a doc appt tomorrow that I am sure he has forgotten about and I was supposed to remind him of and let him use my car. I don't want the cycle to repeat. If I call I will end up over there nothing will change. He will not apologize, I will be resentful and here we go again. I obviously know this is the right way to go by just continuing to forget him. This is the very hard. Just had to vent. Thanks for listening.

PS today is our two year anniv. The sick part of my brain was hoping that I would get a phone call acknowledging that. The rational part realizes he probably doesn't even remember.

laurie6781

Don't go.

Most Dr Offices these days, call the day before the appointment to remind the
person. Hopefully they have his number.

This is HIS PROBLEM.

You are correct, you do not need to be 'sucked' back in.

Keep posting and venting here, it does help, and it will also help to keep your
boundaries firm on the NC.

Love and hugs,

PaperDolls

Stay strong!!!

outtolunch

Give this adult the dignity to take full responsibility for himself.

dandylion

Dear Sungirl, When I was struggling with this same "urge to contact", I wrote several of the very worst, most upsetting episodes of the relationship on a small card which I carried on my person at all times. Reading and recalling the details of these episodes helped me to keep away from the phone.

The other thing, other than that was to stay busy---doing anything that could keep me distracted. Sitting and thinking was my worst enemy.

You can do this if you commit yourself to it!

dandylion

MsPINKAcres

I was just thinking what Outtolunch said

you could allow him the dignity & self respect to be an adult and take care of his own business ~

and that would allow yourself the dignity & self-respect to not be pulled back into doing something for someone that they are prefectly capabable of doing for themselves.

Maybe you can take the day to do something healthy & recovery oriented for you!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Sungrl

Yes, the doctors office does call to give a reminder. I just got it.

rdlesstraveled

Sungrl,

congrats on 3 days!! Seriously, that is a major accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself!

Every day gets better and better. No contact saved me and it can save you!

Stay strong! You can sooooooooooooooooooooo do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katiekate

New contact new hurts.

Ask me how I know

LifeRecovery

Were you able to give them his number so they could call?

That is what I have had to learn how to do (and often forgot the first time it came up). I had to learn it with mail, phone calls, and a whole bunch of other things.

NYCDoglvr

Ask the doctors office to call him directly. As a codependent I am chock full of denial as most of us are. We're all responsible for our own recovery, you must heal yourself (Al-anon and therapy). Focus on the solution, not the problem.

JustaBloke

I've learned that contact never goes as I think it will. Definitely creates new hurts as katiekate said.

We know you're struggles, you are not alone in this.