05084

First I must say sorry, I have never been on a forum so forgive my ignorance. I have read many posts, and i find myself in many of the same situations. Im not sure if anyone feels like this, but im mentaly exhausted, i dont even want to type this, to sum up, im married to alcoholic: (whiskey), drug addict (vicodin, suboxin, adderall, xanax, morphine, and whatever else he can get his hands on and our families money can buy) and a Gambler! We are now in bankruptsy for the second time. I realize that i am co-depenant, and an enabler. I am in the prossess of leaving him, and getting help for myself. We have been married for 21 years, and I have lost myself. My question... If I know he is manipulating his Drs,(yes plural) should I let the Drs know? Ty Jen

suki44883

I wouldn't do it until I was safely away from him. That's just my personal opinion and others may disagree.

Welcome to SR. So sorry you are dealing with an addict. I wish you much luck getting away from him and starting a life of taking care of yourself first! You will find a lot of support here.

lillamy

I think the first thing I would focus on would be myself. Figure out how to get out, figure out how to set up my new life, get electricity and change mail and all that stuff. That part was hard enough work for me without having to worry about my AXH and whatever he was doing.

LuvMySis

Hello, 05084. I'm glad you found this site, but I'm sorry for the reason that you had to come here. This site is very helpful. No need to apologize for anything here. Sadly, most of us know all about that mental exhaustion and the ugliness of addiction. The good thing is that you're doing something about it now and getting help for yourself. You're among friends you've never met.

Cyranoak

Let him be him. Stop focusing on him, get yourself into Alanon, and focus on you. It's your turn.

Take care,

Cyranoak

laurie6781

Welcome to SR, glad you found us, but so sorry you had to.

I agree with all above.

Work on you for now. Work on getting a place of your own, away from him, and I wouldn't bother giving him the address. Work on finding your own peace and serenity.

As to telling his doctors, they will all figure it out eventually, as will his pharacist.

Not your job and not your problem.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.

Love and hugs,

fourmaggie

what are you doing to focus on YOU?
how are you helping you?

3Cs
you didnt cause this
you cant control it
and there is NO CURE

your addict is doing what he does best...

Learn2Live

I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you that once the prescriptions dried up (when the authorities eventually caught on) my brother who was addicted to Percs for 15 or so years then turned to street drugs. It was horrible to watch.

05084

well, after many many years of suffering with panic attacks everytime i left the house, my first step was dealing with being able to leave, i am comfortable with that now, also, finally telling the truth to my family and his family about the situation, no more protecting him and his feelings, realizing i was NOT helping him by "protecting" him. Greatful I did talk to his mother, because she is the one helping me to get out (she was married to an alcoholic) She said "You are as much my daughter as he is my son" God Bless this woman. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support!