Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
 

Occasionally I’ll remember something just so I can have the satisfaction in later saying, “I did it my way and I was right”. That attitude has not worked for me yet but for some reason I don’t want to let go of it. :giveup Anyway . . .

I have friends in several fellowships and one today got a job but needed a ride to the DMV for a new ID. She then asked me to attend an open meeting because many there would be happy to see me. I went and a younger lady opened up that she didn’t care anymore. She mentioned living in a recovery house, wanted her child back, so on and so on, and she didn’t see any benefit to staying sober.

I thought to myself . . . Well gee, I’ll be moving next week, I’ll have some room, and what else can I help with . . . Before I could finish my thought one of the female old times fired up, “Poor baby not getting what she wants, boo hoo”. I would have no problem saying that to another male but it’s a woman lets be nice about it . . . and then it hit me. Something came back to haunt me . . . :gaah

Okay, there is no hole deep enough for me to crawl in right now. I am so thankful I kept my mouth shut but I cannot believe I had those thoughts of wanting to rescue. It is a disease that will kill them all, male and female, why would I even consider sugar coating for one and not the other. They all need a kick in the rear it’s the only thing they pay attention to. I’m glad today I recognized it, kept quiet and know that I chose to live a healthier lifestyle. :cool2:

Thank you for this, Chris. I really needed to read it. Because so many people have asked me why I felt the need to "rescue" AXBF and I could not understand what they were talking about. I thought and said, "I wasn't trying to rescue anyone, I was trying to be in a relationship." But after reading your post I've come to realize, every complaint he had, I had the answer and the resources to "fix" the problem, and I did so freely and continuously, day after day, while ignoring and shoving back my own needs. Waiting to get something back. Savoring the brief thanks and kudos and other acknowledgements. Waiting for the love and affection that never came, and then becoming devastated when the final abandonment hit me.

Thanks again for sharing.