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Old 08-20-2012, 03:58 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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New to SR

I have been reading on this website for quite sometime. My situation is pretty much like the ones I've been reading about. It's as if the commenters were living right with me & AH!

I am newly divorced from AH. In addition I relocated to a new city for a new job to make a fresh start. Luckily AH did not follow me here. After I left for new job AH went on a total bender - if he was ever off it - and was hospitalized in ICU. Doc said it's lucky he got there as he probably wouldn't have made it another day. I don't know the exact medical reasons but it's from the drinking, obviously. After the hospital stay, AH admitted himself to rehab which I sincerely hope he is successful at, for his own sake. However, I am very RELIEVED that I don't have to deal with this as I've had to do during the marriage.
Not much else to say right now. Anyway, that is the extremely abridged version of the last 7-8 years of my life.
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Old 08-20-2012, 04:36 PM
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(((freefinally))) - Welcome to SR!! I'm glad that you were able to break free from your AH. I know the feeling of wanting them to do better for themselves, but honestly? I was done. Time to get my own life going on and it sounds as if you are doing just that

Hugs and prayers,

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Old 08-20-2012, 04:42 PM
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Hello freefinally, and Welcome to SR!

I'm relieved to hear that you are OK and starting a new life. I hope that your ex will begin to make some better decisions in his life, but you are not responsible either way and have nothing to ever feel guilty about. Unfortunately with active alcoholism--it's let go or be dragged.

Make yourself at home here! HG
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Old 08-20-2012, 05:06 PM
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You are correct. It was a very difficult decision to make but ultimately the best one I could make for myself & probably for AH. Things just kept getting worse and worse. And it hard to just stand by and watch someone drink themself to death. I am even more angry with myself for staying in an unfulfilling, abusive relationship. I just wanted to believe AH but I really knew he'd still keep drinking no matter what. I finally decided to leave when I realized it had been a year since AH had finished {his millionth!} rehab & nothing had changed; he did not do one thing he said he'd do and I knew he never would.
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Old 08-20-2012, 05:08 PM
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It is natural to want people you love to excel/be successful. However that requires effort on the addict's part and that it's been my experience that it doesn't happen.
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Old 08-20-2012, 06:21 PM
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It was after my husband's second hospital stay this year that I realized what an insane person I would have been if I had been right there at his side. I would have been anxious with worry, angry that the alcohol was playing a part in health issues and that he did not listen to what I had been telling him for years, beside myself trying to convince him that his rationalizations weren't true and needed rehab. And probably initially we would have fought over him getting medical attention. I was able to thank him for giving me some peace that came with distance between us.
Glad you found us. Sounds like you have taken some HUGE steps to make your life better.
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