worry1126

I'm a partner of an alcoholic who has had the problem for at least 10 years. For the last 2 years, he averages a "run" once a month which on average lasts for two weeks. He's been through countless rehabs, AA, etc. and refuses to go to treatment. He's in a bout now and is demanding more alcohol so he doesn't go into withdraws. I've taken the keys to the truck and he can't drive, or for that matter walk. I haven't had a good nights rest in two weeks. Do I try to step him down by giving in or just let him suffer?

BlueSkies1

I don't know what you should do...but if you gave him alcohol, and he passed out, could you get some sleep while he's passed out?
Later, after you've had some good sleep, you can clearly think about what you want to do next with your life.
Essentially what I am saying is give him the alcohol if it will help YOU...!

Or Plan B...leave and go somewhere peaceful!

What am I saying? Plan B should be Plan A...!

EnglishGarden

He probably requires the alcohol to survive now, so I would not deny him access to it.

DT's--delirium tremens--is what happens when a severe alcoholic is spontaneously detoxed from alcohol without medical supervision. In this major medical crisis, the alcoholic's brain cannot send signals to the organs of the body in the right way, and they begin to shut down. The alcoholic can quickly die.

Let him have the alcohol, he will get it one way or another.

The question that is next is: do you plan to live this way for another ten years? If the answer is no, you need to be packing your bags. You are powerless to cure him and powerless to save him. Alcohol affects every part of the body, every organ, every part of the tissue, the muscles waste, the brain decays. You cannot cure him and you cannot halt the effects of alcohol on his body.

If you decide to stay, let him drink because he will drink. He has to.

Shadydeal

Il don't know what is best but I would agree with Englishgarden!

Sungrl

Get him the alcohol he now requires to survive. Call another loved one and let them know of the situation. Grab your things, get out and don't look back. EVER

Birdgurl

I was in your shoes. I got him the alcohol so he didn't have a medical emergency. Then, I left that week. Remember the three Cs. This does not get better.

outtolunch

I would not supply alcohol.
I am not remotely qualified to detox anyone, treat alcoholism/addiction and/or medical emergencies.

I would call 911 and let qualified emergency responders handle this as I would any life/death situation.

worry1126

Thank you all for the advice.....I know that this will kill him....and it's killing me. All I can do is hope for the best and make a decision soon. I will not leave until he is stable. If he chooses to continue this tomorrow, I might consider leaving for a few days but the last time I did that, he fell down the steps and nearly died. I've been through the 911 route several times and I've been told if he wants to kill himself, then he has every right. The police have been to the house so many times that they know his name.

BlueSkies1

Sorry about your situation worry...

You can play nurse until this binge cycle is over if you want.

But the line above "and it's killing me" seems to be important too. I hope you can get away soon and find some peace.
Family intervention with immediate inpatient? Ever thought of it?
Does he have family that cares?
Call the show intervention if nobody else can pay?

Ultimately though...I want you to be able to live a life in which his alcoholism isn't "killing" you too.
Any idea how you can get to that point?

worry1126

Madeofglass:

I guess I love him too much to find peace. To watch someone suffer is devestating and I know not to blame him but this horrid disease which encompasses everything and everyone in it's path is the problem. I'm finding strength in these posts and my own conviction for peace. I wish for myself some peace but I can't walk away. I'm better than yesterday and I hope and pray he can get out of this and I can too.