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-   -   i was doing so good.... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/265810-i-doing-so-good.html)

debo5 08-19-2012 06:00 PM

i was doing so good....
 
... i just don't know what to do anymore. So i am turning to all of you for some input.
My rah (separated) came to visit our son here at my house today. He has been sober since march. According to the separation agreement i have sole custody with a mutually agreed upon schedule. He has in a very immature way told me that he wants to take him to his house and does not want to spend the time with him at my house. I asked him to come here today, because our son is potty training and sick.
He talked to me for a few minutes today telling me he wants things differently. Did not really tell me what or make any suggestions. I have emailed him twice in the past few weeks and asked him to come up with a schedule and then we could go from there. He never replied. So tonight i suggested him (via email) a schedule. He can have him every other saturday or sunday from early morning to after dinner. I wrote a very polite, to the point email asking him to get back to me when he decided. This is his response: "So you think I am going to spend the next 16 years seeing my son once a week".

Now i know not to answer to such emails, and i am not going to. But what in the world is going on with him? Why is he being like this? What should i do? Just wait? He has also threatened to fight me for custody many times. Of course he is smart enough to not do that in an email.

Then i went through some old (all lovey and nice...) emails and now i am totally :c021::c004::c021: back and forth, back and forth....

A big THANK YOU to all of you.

Mizzuno 08-19-2012 06:20 PM

I'm not sure what to say to this. Custody arrangements can get ugly. For the sake of your child and your health, I hope the two of you can agree to something that is beneficial for all. I'm sorry for your struggle. I know its not easy.

Learn2Live 08-19-2012 06:22 PM

How about dinner with his son once a week, in the middle of the week?

debo5 08-19-2012 06:33 PM

L2L, in addition to my suggested schedule? That is a really good idea. Thank you.
But i guess the problem still remains if he does not respond. Or if he only responds with such emails that are not productive at all.

Carol Star 08-19-2012 06:37 PM

maybe a day a week for every year of sobriety- to start
:gaah:rotfxko

debo5 08-19-2012 06:42 PM

Carol Star :rotfxko


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