Please help!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1
Please help!!!!
I really am trying to understand my boyfriend, He has a roxy addiction.
Everyday has become a battle of sickness and pain!
everything he tells me is heartbreaking, I made him promise he wouldnt ever boost or touch any painkillers again, I feel as if im the bad person!!!
He's super sick, and its killing me, But i cant give in he has 2 weeks clean now "So he tells me"
We havnt been togther but only a few months, He's so close to my heart, What do i need to do to understand and help him, Please i am begging for help
Everyday has become a battle of sickness and pain!
everything he tells me is heartbreaking, I made him promise he wouldnt ever boost or touch any painkillers again, I feel as if im the bad person!!!
He's super sick, and its killing me, But i cant give in he has 2 weeks clean now "So he tells me"
We havnt been togther but only a few months, He's so close to my heart, What do i need to do to understand and help him, Please i am begging for help
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Why are you a bad person.
Drug withdrawal is hell, I know, I came off benzos.
Nothing more debilitating and painful than getting off.
All you can do is ride the wave.
It does end, it's pay the piper time. I do not mean to sound callous, getting clean is the best thing he can do, or die young.
Drug withdrawal is hell, I know, I came off benzos.
Nothing more debilitating and painful than getting off.
All you can do is ride the wave.
It does end, it's pay the piper time. I do not mean to sound callous, getting clean is the best thing he can do, or die young.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
You will never understand him, you will never fix him, you will never love him clean.
Let him go, until he is clean and sober for at least a year AND working a strong recovery program and then...perhaps...a big perhaps... consider hooking back up with him.
His promises mean nothing, addicts always make empty promises and lie...over and over again.
A few months doesn't make for a long term committment to anyone, let alone an addict.
Let him go, until he is clean and sober for at least a year AND working a strong recovery program and then...perhaps...a big perhaps... consider hooking back up with him.
His promises mean nothing, addicts always make empty promises and lie...over and over again.
A few months doesn't make for a long term committment to anyone, let alone an addict.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 95
He will do what ever he wants to do. That is the best understanding of an addict I can give.
That means, he may want to be sober today, but next week or month he might want the pills back.
No mater what you do, he is going to do what he wishes. No matter what he promises, he will do as he wants.
Your choice is to stick around supporting him, while hoping he chooses to stay sober. Or leaving and cutting your loses.
You are only in control of your destiny with choice number two. He is in control of choice number one.
Do you really want to put control of your life in the hands of an addict you have dated for a few months?
That means, he may want to be sober today, but next week or month he might want the pills back.
No mater what you do, he is going to do what he wishes. No matter what he promises, he will do as he wants.
Your choice is to stick around supporting him, while hoping he chooses to stay sober. Or leaving and cutting your loses.
You are only in control of your destiny with choice number two. He is in control of choice number one.
Do you really want to put control of your life in the hands of an addict you have dated for a few months?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
I echo the statements of everyone above
Personally I got worried about my ex boyfriend's drinking problem and I did nothing but worry myself sick before I realized I could not do anything about it or help him. I'm sure he got sick of me bringing it up, he just wanted to drink and be left alone. We broke up, but I put up with it for 3 years before that happened. I really wish i could have those years of my life back. Please just let him go...
Personally I got worried about my ex boyfriend's drinking problem and I did nothing but worry myself sick before I realized I could not do anything about it or help him. I'm sure he got sick of me bringing it up, he just wanted to drink and be left alone. We broke up, but I put up with it for 3 years before that happened. I really wish i could have those years of my life back. Please just let him go...
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
My brother had a pain pill addiction and was active for 27 years before he got clean the first time. I have the sense that your BF's addiction is going to get worse before it gets better. My sisterly advice to you is to get a new BF, one who is not a drug addict. You cannot help him and his disease is making YOU sick. Please save yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Welcome to SR. I am sorry what brought you here but you have found a great source of wisdom and inspiration.
One of the first things I learned here was the 3 c's.
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I learned that I can't do anything to help other than take care of myself. My AW's addictions are hers, her recovery is hers.
Please read the stickeys at the top of the forum page, they are the permanent links. There is tons of useful information there. Also read and post as much as you want.
There is nothing you can do to help him but you can learn skills on how to improve your life and how to cope with the drama and chaos that comes with living with an addict.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
One of the first things I learned here was the 3 c's.
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I learned that I can't do anything to help other than take care of myself. My AW's addictions are hers, her recovery is hers.
Please read the stickeys at the top of the forum page, they are the permanent links. There is tons of useful information there. Also read and post as much as you want.
There is nothing you can do to help him but you can learn skills on how to improve your life and how to cope with the drama and chaos that comes with living with an addict.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Originally Posted by ZiggyB 
I echo the statements of everyone above
Personally I got worried about my ex boyfriend's drinking problem and I did nothing but worry myself sick before I realized I could not do anything about it or help him. I'm sure he got sick of me bringing it up, he just wanted to drink and be left alone. We broke up, but I put up with it for 3 years before that happened. I really wish i could have those years of my life back. Please just let him go...
Personally I got worried about my ex boyfriend's drinking problem and I did nothing but worry myself sick before I realized I could not do anything about it or help him. I'm sure he got sick of me bringing it up, he just wanted to drink and be left alone. We broke up, but I put up with it for 3 years before that happened. I really wish i could have those years of my life back. Please just let him go...
Ten more years of the same pain? Aging ten more years...but make it aging twenty because of the stress?
Just let him go---YUP.
I see you're in pain--but you don't have the control to stop him--none of us have that kind of power over another person--only he has that power--Think how awful life would be if others had power over us like that--it would be like prison.
He chooses to use.
You are going to choose to do what?
You're story isn't unique...your man isn't unique...we know the answer to this question.
If he gets sober for a year, fine, then maybe think about the idea of recon...but don't count on it.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Originally Posted by Leise
STRESS causes melasma, and that's what you've got dear. I lost a ton of hair, I lost a lot of weight, and I developed a nasty eye twitch.
I didn't want to get off the original topic, but I tell ya, that stress is a killer in more ways than one.
We know what it does to our minds, but it takes a while for the affects to show up in the body. And it's permanent.
I didn't want to get off the original topic, but I tell ya, that stress is a killer in more ways than one.
We know what it does to our minds, but it takes a while for the affects to show up in the body. And it's permanent.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Originally Posted by Leise
Oh I had to comment on this madeofglass...
The year and a half I spent with xabf did a number on my physical appearance. I had to go get botox to remove the frown line on my forehead between my eyes. People were always asking me if I was "angry" when I was thinking or feeling nothing at all!
I also developed rosacea and have these weird white marks on my face (I'm pretty pale anyway, a very irish complexion, but these marks stood out). I went to the dermatologist for the rosacea and he said... STRESS causes melasma, and that's what you've got dear. I lost a ton of hair, I lost a lot of weight, and I developed a nasty eye twitch.
I didn't want to get off the original topic, but I tell ya, that stress is a killer in more ways than one.
We know what it does to our minds, but it takes a while for the affects to show up in the body. And it's permanent.
The year and a half I spent with xabf did a number on my physical appearance. I had to go get botox to remove the frown line on my forehead between my eyes. People were always asking me if I was "angry" when I was thinking or feeling nothing at all!
I also developed rosacea and have these weird white marks on my face (I'm pretty pale anyway, a very irish complexion, but these marks stood out). I went to the dermatologist for the rosacea and he said... STRESS causes melasma, and that's what you've got dear. I lost a ton of hair, I lost a lot of weight, and I developed a nasty eye twitch.
I didn't want to get off the original topic, but I tell ya, that stress is a killer in more ways than one.
We know what it does to our minds, but it takes a while for the affects to show up in the body. And it's permanent.
Wow, I'm removed and recovering now, I forgot about the eye twitch I developed!
It has mysteriously? disappeared...yes!
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