Alanon Sponsors
 

I don't have one yet but I am looking around. I have a question though: Is it okay to have more than one Alanon sponsor? Someone in my group has one but she (the sponsor) is not always available so she was going to ask another person to be her sponsor as well. I told her I thought that seemed fine but wasn't really sure. So any help would be appreciated. Thanks :)

i think its ok to have one or more sponsors...i have a sponsor and then the whole "home" group...my sponsor works during the day, and sometimes i dont...so i have many in my group i can call...i have one lady that is older and wiser than moi...(teehee) but only a few that are my age...but my age group is home alot with the kids...

so for me, it helps to have many...for the reason of shift work....

I have several people I turn to when I need a bit of guidance, reassurance, or just someone to listen to me. Only one is "officially" my sponsor, but they are all good friends and support.

Mike :)

I have one sponsor. I had to switch sponsors recently. My first sponsor is wrapped up in personal issues and is not attending meetings right now.

So, I asked someone who is more available and active in the program to be my sponsor and I am so glad that I did. I made sure I left my former sponsor know what was going on and she was supportive in my decision to ask someone else to be my sponsor. :)

For me personally, I think it is more healthy to keep one sponsor or at least talk to the current sponsor about having multiple sponsors. In addition, I would bring it up at a meeting. As a fairly new Alanoid, I don't really know the ropes yet. So, I would bring it up as a topic in a meeting.

One time I asked for encouragement to use the phone list. I asked for a new list and I asked for ESH about the phone list. Anytime there is something about the program that I do not understand, I ask questions. I bring it up as a topic. It is helpful to other newcomers and it reminds the old timers about how our program works.

Love and Light,

Lily :)

Thank you all so much! I think this is my HP's way of saying (to me) that I really need to think about getting a sponsor too. This Alnon friend who asked me this joined the program just after me - her sponsor has been unavailable for whatever reason so she is going to ask another from our group to act as temporary sponsor or fill in sponsor until things work themselves out. I basically asked a few of the ladies I talk to for their numbers that I feel comfortable talking to - I've never asked anyone to sponsor me. I don't know why I have such a fear here. I need to think about this today and get past my fears (judging and expectations of me - ACoA stuff) and bite the bullet and ask someone. I mean really it's for MY benefit right? I think I'm putting this out there for a reason and I have to look at this. Why am I over thinking this and getting anxiety about this when a sponsor should be looked at as a person that helps? It's almost like I feel like I am making a commitment to someone and I won't measure up. Ugh. Well anyways, thank you for letting me get that out of my system. I need to just grow up and do it. :) Thanks for listening.

PS: In person I look as if I am a very strong and capable person and totally have my stuff together. I think people assume I have a sponsor. But in reality I read a lot and investigate things on my own and have not looked to someone for support other than you all here lately.

I strongly encourage you to bring up sponsorship as a topic on your next meeting. I found that most people struggled with finding the right person and had a hard time asking someone. Al-Anon is such a gentle program. If you don't wish to bring it up as a topic, ask the people who have been in program how they went about asking for there first sponsor. Asking those questions really helped me to find the courage and resolve to ask for my own sponsor and then to switch to one that suits me better. :)

Thank you DefofLov! It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there that has had issues with asking. I was starting to feel like I was really odd for feeling a little anxious and afraid to ask. I will say something in tonight's meeting. Thursday night meetings are my home group Alanon and there are about 3 or 4 women there I would be honored to have as my sponsor.

I hope you do bring it up and finally ask someone.You deserve the guidance and support. :)

Yesterday, my new sponsor took me to this beautiful lake so we could talk about how we will do our sponsorship and where I am with the step work. :) She treated me to a yummy fish sandwich and we had an awesome discussion. :)

I want that for you too. I am also a well-composed ACOA. I know how hard it is toask for help and further more how hard it is too recieve help. I thanked her a lot and felt speechless in response to her kindness. Taking me to that lake, listening to my story, sharing her story, and feeding me. I rarely experienced such genuine kindness in my life. :)

Love and Light,

Lily

Thank you. That was beautiful. And yes, I DO deserve guidance and support (now the tears are flowing) you hit the nail on the head. Thanks xo

I completely understand. :hug: Tears flowed down my face when someone told me I was no longer alone and it is okay to let someone help me and take care of me. I have been taking care of myself, by myself since I was 11. I didn't know I deserved support, comfort, love, and kindness. And I was scared to go to Al-Anon in the first place because it was difficult for me to realize and accept the fact that I deserve it. I deserve to have people listen to me, share their lives with me, accept, and help me along my journey to health and healing.

I'd be happy to talk more with you. I love bonding with other ACOAs. Feel free to pm me anytime. :hug: :)

Thank you http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z...ps22/heart.gif