I need help QUICK! Addict draining our account!!!
 

Please help me!!!!!

My husband has been an alcoholic for years, now I suspect he is doing drugs. We have a lot of savings and he is just going through it!

I can tell by his patterns and behavior that it is not about alcohol anymore. I have tried shutting down our bank account. I;ve tried taking away his keys. All these things were only temporary fixes. He called the police and the police made me give him back his keys even though I explained the situation....that taking away his keys for a few days gets him to sober up a bit. Now I can do neither so he is unstoppable.

Please anyone - what should I do? Should I just stand by as he takes out $200 a day????? Please help me!!!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about all this. It sounds like it's time to make some long term changes, perhaps?

Can you open up an account in your name only, take out half the money and put it in that account so he can't get to it and you can take care of your bills?

Move the money. As soon as possible. Like now.

If he is taking out the money using an ATM card you can call the bank tomorrow first thing and lower the amount that can be withdrawn within a 24 hour period. Make sure this pertains to ALL ATM cards linked to that account.

He can always go to a local branch to withdraw money (more than the ATM limit) so I would suggest opening a bank account in your name only and put money in that account to pay the household bills.

I'm new to Alanon so I am not sure if this is the way to do things within the program but realistically you HAVE to take care of yourself first.

If he later asks what the deal is I would just say you are budgeting and decided to set up an account specifically to pay household bills and a bill pay account to track where all the money is going...or whatever pertains to your situation.

I have experienced this multiple times. It feels HORRIBLE and I am sorry this is happening to you. I'm assuming where you live now the banks are all closed?

I ended up having to sit my recovering Alcoholic husband down one day and tell him I was taking over all the bills and all the money and if he didn't like it then get a divorce attny. He has given me complete control of the account and I pay all the bills. He has 2 credit cards with $500 limits. One is for his work and the other is for personal stuff and emergencies. Any other money (that is added by direct deposit from his office) is my job now.

Might sound harsh but it actually works for us and he is thrilled we finally have some sort of savings starting to add up!

Oh wait I just re-read your original post and noticed it said he is taking money out of your savings.

Get a new account tomorrow morning in your name only at a different bank. Withdraw the savings money and deposit into the new account that he cannot have access to. If he says something then oh well, too bad. He is withdrawing $200 per day?? It sounds like he is milking the account and he needs to be stopped. Do not tell him you know about this. Just go and withdraw it and move it.

Take care of yourself. You are not alone. Just be smart and get it done ASAP.

Again, my heart hurts for you. So sorry this is happening :(

Call a lawyer. FInd out if your state allows legal separation. And if you can kick him out. My state allows legal separation which means all accounts are frozen from the day you file with the courts, and any money he withdraws after that from a joint account is money he will owe you half of in the divorce.

If the savings account is in both your names as "or" you can withdraw all the money and open a new account in your name only. If it is" and" start working the balance down with regular
withdrawals, then put the money into an account in your name only and don't give him any access to it.

Protect yourself and your family, if he is on drugs, he will drain the account, it is what addicts do.

Find a tough attorney tomorrow morning. Go to your bank tomorrow morning and take whatever actions you can to remove as much of the money as you can from his access. Some banks have toll free numbers that you can call 24 hours. Ask for a supervisor, someone who has dealt with spouses raiding the family accounts, and get the transfers done ASAP.

Take care of your interests, your family's interests, and feel just in doing so. He sounds out of control with addiction, and he is not acting rationally. Think about if your positions were reversed, and you were doing what he is. You would want him to stop you from squandering everything.

And take care, and be gentle with yourself. Come here often, post whatever and as much as you need. This is a caring, supportive group of people who really understand what you're up against and will help you look out for your and yours.

BothSidesNow

I also suggest you find a family law attorney as soon as possible and get some legal advice. Don't let him drain you dry. I would not speak to him about it at all. Make seeing an attorney your first priority and get advice about what to do.

Most likely he is adding drugs to the booze or possible gambling. Cocaine/crack eat money the quickest because of the short "high".

Thank GOD for this forum. Thanks to all of you for your reply. At first I felt bad about doing this thinking I was "stealing", but it has gotten worse. It is obvious he is unstoppable.

I was hoping to go to the bank today, but in a strange twist of fate, he took my car with my purse and everything and left me at home all day. Also strange was that last night I finally figured out how to track his iphone which he usually takes with him - so at least I will know where he goes now. I am tired of driving around at night trying to find him. Last night I planted his phone in his car and figured I would finally be able to track him. When I saw him leave I went online to track the phone to find out it was at my address. I looked outside and his car was there, and my car was gone. So much for detective work.

I;ve spent many years covering for him so he doesn't loose his job (and we will both suffer). But nothing works now. It seems his alcoholism has progressed. He works from home and in the last two months he has spent all day drinking at bars. They will soon catch up to him and fire him. All this money that he worked so hard to save will be gone and he will end up with nothing. It's sad. I try to warn him. He says he wants to quit but "can't stop himself." He apologizes for putting me through this but I say to him don't apologize....get help! He doesn't want to hear that.

I empathise! Mine drank our business into the ground - at one stage I had to lock him in the office while I spoke to customers! He stole money out of my mortgage account -around £200 a month. If it wasn't for his mother, I would no longer have a home! He is now pretty much unemployable.
Stay strong and move all the money you can get your hands on into a secret account! Good luck x

curious on what happened.....any up date?