seek

I had a bad couple of days - got in the pit and when I woke up this morning, I felt better, but I understand I have to be VERY vigilant about how I feel because I am highly sensitive and tend to be moody.

My moods can spiral downward into full blown resentment, which is what happened yesterday.

It started, consciously, yesterday, with a phone call from a company asking me a question that angered me, When I called back, they didn't have voice mail and that really pissed me off. I had to write a fax explaining the answer to the question.

This is just life, but I get extremely angry at problems I have to handle because I am overwhelmed and resentful. I took care of my grandson for 18 plus years, and took care of my dad when he was dying and have been taking care of my mom's affairs for 7 years and I am burned out.

To add insult to injury, my mom has never seen my value and insults me and doesn't think I am doing anything, when in reality, she is the puppet and I am the puppet-master, managing every detail of her life behind the scenes. It all appears effortless because she doesn't see anything except the good results. In the past, I tried to educate her, but that is my ego, wanting recognition for my efforts and it is most likely not going to happen.

So yesterday I got all pissy and then started thinking about how my family has disappointed me - then i got into fear about a family meeting that is coming up, and it was just very uncomfortable having such negative feelings all day. Most of it was rage and resentment.

I read some stuff online about "accepting the unacceptable" last night and that helped me, somewhat.

This morning, I lit a candle, prayed for myself and my relatives, lit some incense, and moved my computer to a sunnier place in my house.

Then I started my day and got a communication from someone I am trying to do business with that created an hour or so of frustration - but I tried to just notice that I was getting frustrated.

I have a little discomfort in my stomach area - a little anxiety - but I am breathing through it.

If you want to share what you are doing today to be healthy, please do.

I am getting treatment later, which I think will also help me (color therapy).

LuvMySis

Seek, I just ate a bunch of little chocolate candy bars, so I don't have much to offer in the way of "healthy", but what is color therapy?

seek

Chocolate can be considered healthy

This form of color therapy is a machine that you lie under that uses color rays to do certain things. Today, I think I am going to have a "release" treatment, because I have been doing EFT and detoxing, emotionally . . .I don't know too much about the theory (am actually studying it) but somehow it "entrains" your brainwaves - so I am not sure if it puts you in an Alpha state, or what, but I like it . . .I will report back!

I also take flower essences and do aromatherapy and other stuff.

I am a stubborn case, so my tool box is quite full!

lillamy

That insight is huge. And wise. At times, I have a hard time seeing that, but it's so important to do. Because otherwise, you just step into the role of being The Victim.

Someone here said about alcoholics that "he's not drinking AT YOU, he's just drinking." I've extended that to apply to other things, too. People aren't doing things AT ME, they're just doing them. How I choose to react to what they're doing is my issue. Thank you for reminding me of that today!

So far, I haven't done anything healthy for myself today (unless you count sprinkling my fruit yogurt with chia seeds, which are supposed to counteract the fast absorbtion of sugar into the blood stream). Tonight, I'm meeting some acquaintances for pizza, and that is healthy. Maybe not the pizza, but me meeting a group of people I don't know real well. My recovery and divorce has changed me to the point where I've lost or left many of my old friends, and building up a new network has to start somewhere. Even when it feels scary to put yourself out there.

ZiggyB

Yesterday someone mentioned the Big Book of AA being helpful for people in Al-anon. I have a copy so I started reading it.

In one of the chapters resentment is mentioned and there is a practice of asking God each day to help remove our resentments. I am not that religious myself but I have been trying it and it seems to be helping a bit.

Also I had a salad today, that's healthy, right??

seek

I had the color therapy session combined with hypnotherapy, and it was powerful. It feels too private to share, but I am so grateful to have such talented practitioners available to me.

seek

I took my dog for a walk on the beach. It was beautiful. I forgot my camera - the light on the water was amazing.

I stood on the beach with the waves crashing, connecting with Gaia . . .it was powerful. I feel stronger today and am grateful for a good day and my health and helpers.

seek

I am going to see my spiritual counselor today.

I had a dream that I acted out towards a family member (said something unkind in front of the group and then got shunned) . . .

I am seeking insight and praying that my wounds and those of my family members will be healed.

I intend to adopt healthier habits and pray to be vigilant and note what is going on with me and try to address it.

This morning I am feeling a little nervous and sad and will be praying for healing.

Hypatia

Not sure just how healthy this is, but it sure is making me feel good today. I've just baked a batch of buttermilk biscuits and am working my way through them. Warm biscuits dripping with butter along with a cup of hot coffee. Yum! Then I'm off to do some agility with one of the dogs to work off some of those calories.

seek

Add some gravy, and you've got one of my favorite comfort food meals.

I love my dog so much. Always faithful and without guile. Have a good day.

OhBoy

Took the dog for a walk & ate a tomato fresh from the garden for lunch. Oh thank god it is tomato season!

TakingCharge999

If you are dreading the family event why do you have to go ?

seek

I had an amazing session with my spiritual counselor. I really am blessed. I feel so supported. I am so grateful.

I also did some EFT before my counseling session (via YouTube) . . .found a guy I like who has vids on forgiveness, worry about children, etc.

For me, moving the energy stuck in the body is crucial.

seek

Last night I made a sandwich and a little container of chopped chicken for for my dog, took a beach towel and camera and headed to the same beach I had gone to the day before with my dog (this is a beach I don't often go to, but I had an amazing experience there the day before and forgot my camera so wanted to go back). We sat close to the water and had our little picnic (which might sound weird to some, but it was amazing).

My dog is afraid of the crashing waves because in the summer I dunked his legs in the ocean to cool him off because it was so hot and that traumatized him - he is tiny and is not a water dog) . . .but he seemed a little more adventuresome - the sun setting over the water was gorgeous and the seagulls were doing their nightly grooming ritual on the beach. It was very pleasant and healing. I need to be by the water.

It was a perfect culmination to a day of healing. I actually took the day off - had the session with my counselor, took a nap, went to the beach, came home and then went to get a massage.

Today I am meeting with the family and needed all of the wellness preparation.

Praying for strength, guidance, and protection this morning.

Tuffgirl

Doesn't sound weird at all Seek - sounds like a perfect day!

What helps me most is to try to live in each day. No matter where I am or what I am doing, being self aware enough to just enjoy the moments as they pass by.

seek

Beautiful!

seek

Had a family meeting yesterday which had a lot of good things in it, but afterwards, something happened that triggered me and I am in a lot of discomfort at the moment (anxiety/fear).

Last night I prayed and prayed, which helped me sleep. This morning I sent a message to try to make an appointment to talk with someone I want to talk to - they may or may not respond - tend to be passive-aggressive and not respond, which in turn, triggers my anxiety. So I have to find ways to process my anxiety.

I do use EFT, which helps a lot . . .I am praying for guidance and will see what the day brings.

Hypatia

There are times when I really like to transport myself into a completely different reality. Yesterday I got the opportunity when I went to a Medieval Faire. I used to go a lot when I was in my 20s but haven't gone as much lately. Yesterday I re-discovered all the fun stuff that I used to love: the music, plays, jugglers and acrobats, minstrels, old costumes, sword fighting on foot and horseback, falconry, and oh the food!

AH came with me, and even he was impressed by the fire jugglers. It was a wonderful evening, and I'm probably going to go to another at the end of August.

Today I'm just having a lazy day and watching the last day of the Olympics. Looking forward to seeing the closing ceremonies.

seek

I am really challenged at the moment. Had some major fear triggered (about my grandson's health and well-being). I prayed, and got another massage last night to help me relax, then prayed some more . . .I made a call to a friend to ask for a "reality check," and I will be speaking with my spiritual counselor this morning.

I am going to attempt to get some work done that I need to get done today, despite my anxiety - on that note, did some EFT on YouTube . . .lots of self-care needed at the moment.

seek

Woke up in fear this morning after doing a ritual yesterday that really helped me let go of the fear. In that ritual, I wrote down facts, fears, and truths. I burned the fear list and felt immediate relief - that the fears had been offered to God and the angels in purification to transform.

Today I must be vigilant about my thoughts. I became aware of some things that are scary . . .AND I have to turn those fears over to God and let God take care of things.

In the Serenity Prayer, one of my struggles was the line "change the things we CAN," because I can change a lot of things . . .but SHOULD I? So for ME, I have changed the line to: "change the things I SHOULD" and that helps me know that not everything is up to me to interfere with, even if I CAN . . .