seek

Besides Alanon, what methods or modalities have you found that made a positive impact and providing healing to your trauma?

Learn2Live

God.

Freedom1990

Individual therapy/counseling, and books such as "Codependent No More" and "Women Who Love Too Much" have been much help to me in my recovery.

fourmaggie

i would say practicing all my principles in all my affairs (not only with the As in my life)

agreed on: GOD of my understanding
agreed on: therapy and reading all those books/literature of AL ANON

but nothing like a good movie to have a good cry....cleanse the mind

m1k3

Besides Alanon, I have used mindfulness and meditation. Something that worked very well for me was when I would find myself having fights with my qualifier in my head I would stop and ask myself, who are you talking to.

I follow a lot of Buddhist teachings as well. Especially everything has causes and conditions. When I find myself getting upset I look at why I am feeling that way beyond the obvious actions of my qualifier. Usually it is because I have expectations of how I want them to act and they are not meeting my expectations. This issue is me having the expectations not them failing to meet them.

Suffering is something I do to myself and by looking at why I am suffering I can usually figure out what it is that I have to change to stop it.

Your friend,

PaperDolls

Individual therapy/counseling, "Codependent No More", and since I'm a double winner, AA.

Recover53

being relatively new I've been calling people I met at the meetings. The first mtg I went to they had a 'resourse list.' I have randomly called people on that list, some have been VERY helpful. When you're in the midst of insanity, fear and pain, I don't know of anything besides Alanon. Maybe later God will play a bigger role in my life, right it's you guys, and you are really making the difference.

ZiggyB

I'm with Mike up there, I have found a lot of help in Buddhism over the years (not just with dealing w/ my axbf). Meditation is very useful too, to calm yourself down and find serenity in a healthy way. I also recommend exercise which helps with anxieties.

RoseMadder

God, books such as "Boundaries", "The New Codependency", and "Take Charge of Your Life", journaling, practicing gratitude, and working with a therapist.

LifeRecovery

Lots of reading, from Al-Anon literature, to literature on healing trauma to healing from affairs to frivolous books that I don't have to "focus on." Same with movies, and initially I watched the whole series of Grey's Anatomy because it was the only thing that kept me from going nuts (and to realize that my life was not nearly as full of drama as it could have been).

Therapy, individual, group (for my ED stuff), I am especially finding Hakomi helpful as it has a strong base in mindfullness.

I took a Mindfullness Bases Stress Reduction Course and loved it, and it has helped immensely.

I do body work (massage is an example) as I have learned that some of my habits physically impact my mental well being and vice versa. Regular activity has almost always been in my life and that is important too.

If needed I would have done meds if my therapist/MD recommended.

Good friends to talk to, even when they are miles away.

seek

EFT for anger about betrayal and unfairness - YouTube

Cyranoak

Individual counseling and regular exercise. With rare exceptions I go mountain biking with my buddies every Thursday night, and every Sunday all day (Dirt Church). It's not negotiable with my wife, my daughter, or my employer except in emergencies or special family events and, even then, I don't eliminate it I just change the day.

Take care,

C-

lizatola

Pretty much what everyone said here: Al Anon, meeting with my sponsor, individual therapy/counseling, yoga and meditation/prayer, counseling with good friends and family, and trying to spend quiet time with God daily.

fourmaggie

@Cyranoak....so love that boundary you have there!! awesome!!

wicked

Thank you very much for the link, seek.
She is hard to hear, but I will figure it out.

Be easy.

Beth

Hypatia

Although I'm relatively new to alcoholism, there have been other extremely traumatic periods in my life. I read books, I had therapy, I took classes and attended lectures and educated myself. I learned various techniques and tools and mechanisms. Sometimes I even remembered to use them. I lost God and found a Creator. Yet all that wasn't enough. I always needed something more to find the real me hidden beneath all the crap that piled up on top of me.

Today I went for a 5 mile walk with my two dogs to a nearby small lake well off the beaten track. It was a beautiful day, not too hot, but sunny, and most of the way was through the woods. I felt cut off from all civilisation, and being a week day I didn't meet anyone along the way. Just me, the dogs, and the relative wilderness. I took the time to watch the play of light and shadow as the sunlight came down through the trees. I let myself rediscover the wonder of birds in flight, and sat on the bank of a creek and just watched the little fish dart around until my dogs decided to cool off in the water. And I laughed as they came up on either side of me and shook themselves and got me all wet, too.

It was a mixture of physical exercise with good company, along with a bit of meditation and spiritualism with a touch of mysticism. I felt all my stress just draining away as I grounded myself and reconnected with Mother Earth.

But mostly, it was just being. Being me. Being with my dogs. Being able to choose my own path at each fork. Being unconcerned about which direction I was taking. Being responsible to and for nobody except myself and my dogs for those few hours. Being at peace.

I have never attended an Alanon meeting. Perhaps one day I will, since so many here have found help there. Group meetings and talking with others who have experienced the same or similar things is very important. It stops that feeling of being alone. Reading, learning and discussing the details is also important because it helps explain what is happening. But for me, there comes a point where I need the stillness of solitude in order to finish the process of integrating the information and reflecting on which parts are actually useful to me and apply to my own situation. And I often come back with more questions which starts the whole cycle again. But it is this repetitive cycle of reading, learning, discussion and solitary quiet reflection which leads me to healing.

Pelican

Foregiveness.
Beginning with myself.

A book that helped me heal: "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay
The book is filled with positive affirmations. I need(ed) that to help me believe in myself again.

lillamy

Dirt Church!!! I LOVE IT! And I will steal that for when I take the kids hiking or biking on Sundays instead of going to church. I tell them "God would rather have us out enjoying God's creation than sitting in church wishing we were out hiking."

SR.
You guys have been just as important as Al-Anon; during periods of time, more important.

JenT1968

therapy, taking time to be nice to myself, seperating from the alcoholic (this isn't advice, but in my case, this above all things has been the biggest step), co-dependent no more, other healing websites for non-alcohol aspects of my marriage.

and above all, reading everyone's stories here, especially the ones I don't post on, the ones that get me mad (I later realise because the person is exhibiting a behaviour or trait that I don't like about myself) or where I really, really want to tell them what to do (because it's so easy to see things in other people's lives that actually apply to me not them). You've no idea how many posts I write out and then delete before posting

thank you all

akalacha

Reading recommended books, coming to this forum, talking to my HP, spending time with nature, playing with my dogs.