Sweet,

Please be gentle to yourself. The thing I hate the most about abusive language is that it plays in my head over and over. I don't want that for you.

Think about the sweetest voice you ever heard. Imagine that voice filling you up with love. Unconditional love. That voice is saying the following:

"Your needs are important."
"You deserve to be listened to."
"You deserve to be loved, held, and adored."
"Life is beautiful and there is hope after a terrible storm."
"You are beautiful and lovable."
"You are a wonderful mother."
"You are a beautiful person, inside and out."
"You are loved by many."

Close your eyes and let this voice fill you with hope. Imagine a glowing light going inside you and warming your soul.

Hope that visual/audio exercise helps a little. I wish you joy, peace, love, and happiness.

:hug:

Lily

Wow!! Sweetee!! Great post! So much wisdom and truth in there!!

I am walking the same path. I am raising our son on my own.
I've been doing it on my own since he was about 6 (he's 13 now).
I didn't find any peace or happiness in my life until I stopped counting on him for anything.
It's been hard. It has. But just last night, my son walked up to me out of the blue and gave me the biggest, longest, tightest hug and he told me how great of a mom I am and how much he loves me. He told me that he knows I feel bad that I'm away at work so much and not at home with him more and he said he knows I work so hard so I can keep a roof over our head and that I'm doing it on my own. He told me I'm doing a great job and that I'm a great mom and he is so lucky to have me. Needless to say, I got a big old lump in my throat and even as I sit here and type this, I'm all teary eyed because that single moment made the whole struggle worth it.

So much of the grief process is letting go of the idea that we can't give our children two healthy parents. This was sooooo NOT what I wanted for my son...to grow up in a single parent household...but God has provided for us and protected us and I know He'll do the same for you. And you are always going to be a hero in your daughter's eyes for protecting her and raising her in a healthy home even though it wasn't always easy.

Big hugs from one single mom to another....
You're doing great.

Mary

Beautiful post, Def. A great help to me.