Results of today's hearing
 

Got a call from the advocate who helped me get the Restraining order.

Indeed as his mom had told me, his hearing was today. The Advocate represented me and presented the texts sent after the Domestic Violence Petitition was served and my phone records. She also testified about the actions that led me to get the DVP.

He was sentenced to 24 hours in jail, $500 fine and found guilty of Domestic Violence (in this state violating a DVP constitutes Domestic Violence).

While I'm not celebrating this at all, I'm glad my complaints were validated.

Good deal. I'm glad for you. Is the RO permanent now?

180 days, It ends December 4. I was told to document anything that happens after that and if needed they will help me renew it. I was hoping he would move on to the next obsession by then.

I am also glad that your complaint was validated too. :hug:

I think it is brave of you to press these charges and take the steps to take care of yourself. :hug:

Love and Light,

Lily

I am working hard to fight guilt. My head knows better. While living with him I pit up with so much. I didn't call authorities because I didn't want to put things on his record.

Yes, after his conviction is put in our local paper, it will be harder for him to get a job.

Fact is, he has been on unemployment for a year now, if he wanted a job he would have found one. He already had a criminal record for his driving offenses. He did this to himself.

Again the fact was it wasn't my word against his, it was his own words (50 pages of texts) against himself.

Today I wake up battling guilt, which surprises me because my head knows better.

Dear xxxxxx, I am happy for you that you have, at least , been validated and that the system is working, at least partially, to protect you.

Good for you that you took the appropriate steps--it couldn't have been easy.

About this "guilt" that you speak of: Do you remember when we were kids, and we felt guilty for the bad things that happened--even when it had nothing to do with us?
Doesn't this look sort of like that---you feel guilty for what HE did to himself?

Even your head is telling you that the guilt is unnecessary---but your gut is still reacting like that. I suspect that this is from the patterns that we have left over from living in dysfunctional family situations as a young person.

It looks like all co-dependents have a huge parcel of guilt that (we) carry around on the top of our heads.

I think that recovery work addresses this issue of inappropriate guilt. What do you think of this reasoning to your question?

dandylion.

Thank you dl. Very good explanation. I need to continue on my work. I can remember so much displaced guilt. And todayi find I constantly apologize for things I had no control over.