Lulu39

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He is drunk and has been smoking pot all day.

AH: Where are the carrots.

Me: I cooked them. I served them with the dinner I just cooked.

AH: (to my oldest son) There are no carrots. Your mother cooked them. Do you want mushrooms on your sandwich? (He drunkenly makes sandwiches for the kids every Sunday night to take to school the next day. He's doing it now. Drunks look so clumsy when attempting to do something so easy and normal. He is concentrating like it's a physics exam. Sticking out his tongue, slow, deliberate movements. Total tosser.)

OS: No thanks, I don't like mushrooms. I'll be fine with no carrots or mushrooms.

AH: There are no carrots! Do you want mushrooms!!?

OS: No thanks Dad.

AH: (said in a nasty tone) So I'll make your sandwich with no carrots or mushrooms then shall I?

OS: Yes thanks Dad. I'm going to bed now. Night.

Hypatia

For some strange reason I am now humming "Yes! We Have No Bananas"

GettingBy

Lulu...

Are you okay with your son being objected to the drunken/stoned antics? Got any plans to protect him from his father's addictions?

Lulu39

I'm not OK with it at all.

What do you suggest?

The child is 15.

GettingBy

If it were me, I'd find out from an attorney what rights I have to get the addict out of my house. If that's not possible, as it was in my case, I'd pack up my kids, my pets and I'd get the hell out ASAP.

Your son is 15 and is growing up with this as his "norm". I firmly believe you are a good mom and I believe you want better for your son. You CAN give that to him.

Al-anon, an attorney, a therapist... There are lots of places/people that are poised and ready to help you. But ya gotta reach out.

Learn2Live

Poor kid. Having to live with that. Makes me sick remembering living with that as a kid. He had nasty, demeaning nicknames for everyone in the house.

fourmaggie

wow...someone is too laid back(passive) about the children...are you serious? you never thought on the effects of the child....you are you...but the children? you can give HIM at least a better life....

AL TEEN will help and for you AL ANON

r u going?

Katiekate

I think the poster knows that this is very hard on the kids.

I think she does truly care about the effect this is having on the child.

I'm the first one to jump on someone raising kids in that enviornment.

I grew up in the same kind of situation and there was violent.

I have also read the ops other threads here.

I think she is doing the best she can.

I also think she is probably making progress and eventually healing will happen for her and her children.

I'm not trying to be oppositional, just more compassionate, and I am not accusing anyone else of being non compassionate. The truth is a mother ******, she is facing the truth, it's a big pill to swallow. It took me a long time to let the truth in.

itsmylifenow

This conversation saddens me. To see how kids of A's learn to walk on eggshells. To keep the peace, to avoid confrontation, to hope the A won't flip a switch and find their anger and take it out on them.

I didn't learn how to do this until a much older age. It must be hard to grow up learning this and I know many on here have had to deal with that.

Lulu, I wish you all the best in finding a way through this.

albionel

I feel for your kids...hopefully when they turn 18 they can find the peace they deserve.

suki44883

Al-anon, an attorney, a therapist... There are lots of places/people that are poised and ready to help you. But ya gotta reach out.

All good suggestions and I would add ala-teen for your son.