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I cannot believe this is my life....

Old 08-04-2012, 08:10 PM
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I cannot believe this is my life....

My qualifier and I were being evicted from our home and he wanted to take our 6 year old on a little summer vacation before anything else. DOC /speed. Our house had turned into a complete mess, a hoarders house. In our driveway we had a 20' boat with no motor he got for free, a trailer and tons of crap. The backyard was a mess, our house was a mess. Anyway last Thursday he went off the deep end and pushed me and put his hand around my throat because I would not give the ring he gave me 7 years ago back to him. The next day he told me that wouldnt have happened if I just would have given him the ring, Then he proceeded to pack up some of his stuff while he was doing this he was having our son help him. Meanwhile he was calling me white trash and lazy, lier, all sorts of names. Then he started to break all the stuff that he has ever given me. He came into the bedroom and broke all my records and tore there covers, burned my wooden brush he gave me for christmas. I told him i would take our son out of the house for awhile so he could calm down. He then got real angry and aggressive and in my face but did not lay a hand on me. I told him I was going to call the police. I actually went down to the statiion and made a statement that is all I wanted to do to let them know what was going on and I did not want to press any charges. So this snowballed into a nightmare. They arressted him with 3 felonies and 2 misdeamors. Domestic Violence, Robbery, Imprisoment, child abuse and something else. Holy crap I did not want any of this to happen. the police stated it was now out of my control even if I dont press charges the state of CA will. So while he was in jail I packed all my stuff and 2 kids and took a train east. I do not want to take the kids away from him or be without him. He is unhealthy now and I want him to get better. I left not only bcz of him but because we were about to be literally homeless. I have huge feelings of guilt and do not know what to say to him. I have not talked to him since this happend and I am sure he is completely pissed off. I feel alone and lost. I came to stay with a friend however her husband just quit drinking 5 days ago and she has 3 kids. He is very irritable and I feel like I have to still walk around on eggshells. Option to move to my Moms but I told my qualifier and his parents that I would not move there. My qualifier does not like my mom and has always been against moving there. I feel comfortable at moms but dont want to **** him or his parents of anymore by gong back on my word. I know I am unhealthy and need help. I feel like I am in this huge nightmare and no one will wake me up.
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:22 PM
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Boo, stop, sit, breathe! REPEAT! Stay the night at your friend's and then head to your mom's. You need to stop worrying about what he and his family will think of you. This is about you and your kids and nobody else now. Keep them safe, keep you safe. I live in a common law state and in alot of them now domestic violence is picked up by the state even in the person who files the complaint wont press charges. THIS IS TO PROTECT YOU!! Get a restraining order wherever you land and keep him away from you and your babies.
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:23 PM
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ps, what's a qualifier??
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:28 PM
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Her Qualifier is her descriptive word to describe her reason for posting here. Her qualifier is a meth-head.

Please go home to your mother's house. Your son and your baby need a safe, secure environment. Do it for your children.

Your qualifier is getting 3 hots and a cot. His needs are being taken care of right now. And he is clean while he is in jail.

Go home to your mother, for your children's sake.
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:34 PM
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If Ca, is anything like NJ, then I think there might already be a restraining order until the court case.

Pls go to your moms
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:52 PM
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I am so sorry this is happening to you. I agree with the others - you need to think about you and your children now. If California is anything like Texas, they don't press charges lightly, so it sounds like he is where he needs to be right now. He may get better, he may not. That is for later. For now, do what you need to do.
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Old 08-04-2012, 09:06 PM
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Thanks Pelican. I'm old and out of the loop! lol
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Old 08-04-2012, 09:14 PM
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Boo, I feel for you. Stay with your mom and stay away from your qualifier. You'll think more clearly once you're away for a bit.

Had a similar thing happen to myself. Xagf was texting and calling me saying she was going to tell the police I abused her, when I never did. I went to the police to make a report and advise them that xagf may make a false report. Said I did not want her arrested, that it was just a FYI. Cops arrested her any way. And they got me a restraining order. I feel really bad that x got arrested and hope she gets off easy (don't know why I feel that way, she was always very abusive). The restraining order is a godsend. I feel much more peaceful without her causing chaos and panic in my life.
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