choublak

So, my mom is really concerned about me because I'm almost 30, don't yet have a job, I am in school but I'm laid-back to the point of coming off as "existing instead of living", as she puts it. Last night we had a falling out about that but then talked things out and made up, that was the last day of a week-long family vacation, today we were on the road and just arrived at my grandmother's house. We're relaxing and stuff, I'm sitting by myself in the living room with my iPad plugged in and charging, and my mom comes through the living room and asks me, "what are you going to do when you get back to your place?" and I respond, "what do you mean?" and she repeats, "what are you going to do? don't you have stuff to do?" and I ask, "what do you mean, like job-wise or what?" and she repeats, "what are you going to do?" and, not knowing what else to say, I reply, "well there's frozen food in the freezer" and she says, " well, I don't care about that." My mom is so vague I feel like she's speaking to me in Mandarin Chinese. I can't talk to her about this, I've tried, she gets mad. Does anyone have any idea WHAT she is trying to ask me?

suki44883

I think she's asking you what your plans are for the future. What are your goals? Do you have any goals?

choublak

Oh. Well why didn't she ask THAT instead?

fourmaggie

LOL....i think its funny....(sorry) sometimes you just need to say "mom, what are you trying to say?"

i laugh only the reason is my mom does this all the time...she gets tongue tied, and thats normal in my house growing up..lol...

a few weeks ago, my mom and i went "over the river(states side)" to do some groceries...we stepped inside TOPS and i said, "ma, we only have 1/2 an hour...I have to make it quick to pick up the kids..." my mom just stood there..looking around...and said "aah $hit!, this is pressue and i dont know what the heck i want...!"< all of this she is laughing...i could not stand it anymore but laugh my head off with her...and say.." r u serious?"...we laughed so hard we stood there crying and looking around us as people stare....NOW, thats my mom...LMAO

choublak

Well, I did ask her about it, and she actually meant like what was I going to do in the next hour or so. She's so vague though, like here's another example, to describe how some people look, she'll say, "he looks like that guy, you know, that guy from that movie" no, I don't know, because I don't know what guy or movie you're referring to.

dandylion

Communication is an art, isn't it? It takes time, experience, genuine caring about others, patience, honesty, williness to become vulnerable (at the right times), discresion(at the right times), and above all---the ability to truly listen.

Communication is huge in our lives (I have come to ealize). It is an art, if mastered, enriches us immeasurably.

Choublak, this isn't really of topic, if you think about it---on this board. We are communicating with each other in every single post!!!

LoL. My grandmother used to remind me--less mouth; more ears.

Good thread.

dandylion

fourmaggie

maybe time to look for that BOOK on how to change the communication level with you> and how to get her to change her comunication level also....

eg: like using I statements, i feel, i want, i need.....

"change is good...."