Katchie

For those of you who read my last post, I have a new question. Yesterday morning I spoke to my husband about his drinking problem. He did respond well, not angry, stating he may have a problem and poured out the remainder of the booze we have at home. His normal day would consist of him drinking as soon as he came home from work, but due to our conversation he didnt yesterday evening. Instead, he got a glass of water and kept refilling it the remainder of the hours we were up til bedtime. I noticed that he had a small tremor in his hand. Later, I noticed while his legs were crossed it appeared his foot and leg that was crossed over the other had a slight tremor. Could he have already been experiencing withdraw symptoms so soon? Maybe I'm just seeing things, but I don't think so. Also, it seemed as if he was trying to replace the motion of drinking beer with the motion of drinking water. Is this crazy to think these things?

Katchie

BlueSkies1

No...you may be spot on.
Alcohol withdrawal can begin very quickly--within hours-- it all depends on the chemistry of the individual.
Holding a glass of water...when I have tried to quit smoking (unsuccessfully) I have needed to fiddle with something in my hands, use lollipops, toothpicks, and the like.
I like that he is teasing his body that he is thirsty for water though! Ironic but good. He's trying, it's something, not denial...yet, hopefully never.

Katchie

Im glad to know I'm not seeing things. If he is going thru. some sort of withdraw already, does this tell me that he's worse than I thought?

BlueSkies1

I'm no doctor, but I doubt you are seeing things.
Nobody can say how another person's withdrawal will go because people's chemistry is individual to them.
I don't want to scare you, but I do know that some alcoholics will have seizures and other bad withdrawals, so watch him for the next few days. You will know if you need to call someone. Hopefully he will speak up himself if he is having a very difficult time.
On the other hand, it might go much easier for him.

Katchie

There's one problem.. The children and I are going to the river for the weekend without him. He decided he wants to stay home to think on things, which I'm taking as a possible good thing. I would have never guessed in a million years, with as much as I've seen him drink over the years, at least the part I've seen, that he would already be showing such signs and that there could be other possible complications. Im not sure what to do. He really wants some "me" time to think.

Cyranoak

If he continues to not drink he may experience more withdrawal symptoms. This can be very dangerous depending on how dependent on alcohol he has become. It is unwise to detox without medical supervision for some people and can, in fact, result in death. It happens regularly.

I don't know the details of your situation, and this may not apply to you, but I recommend your husband consult with his doctor if his intent is to attempt to quit cold turkey (which, by the way, almost never works).

I am not a doctor, and this is not medical advice.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Learn2Live

For me, I would want to do something so that my own conscience would be clear. And that would be, before I left for the weekend, to hand him the phone numbers for his doctor and for your local A.A.

Katchie

oh my, im really not sure what to do. He's in the medical industry but he wont share this with his doctor friends. He's barely given me that he could perhaps have a problem. He's really wanting to keep this a secret like the last DUI was a secret from me until I started seeing mail from various lawyers coming into our box. Im not sure he is ready to ask a doctor to help keep an eye on him. He'd have to admit he had a problem for certain and then the cat would be out of the bag in his medical circles. The way he has handled things over the last year regarding his DUI, I know he fears people knowing.

Learn2Live

You need to take care of YOU. Once you hand him the doctor's phone number, you are absolved of any further responsibility. (Actually, NONE of it is your responsibility but at least your conscience would be clear). You are worrying and fretting about something that is completely out of your control and it is not helping ANYONE, it is only making things worse for you. And probably worse for your children this weekend. Let go Katchie, and let God.

Katchie

I know he isn't my responsibility but my children are. They would be devastated if something happened to him. They absolutely adore their dad. I'll have a talk with him this evening and tell him what I witnessed yesterday with his tremors and what that could mean.

OhBoy

Withdrawals can be really unsafe to do by yourself. I know on the alcoholism board they HIGHLY recommend a supervised detox. Chances of Seizures, strokes & death are very real. Of course every one is different. Like Cyranoak, I am not a doctor nor is this medical advice, but if it was me I wouldn't let someone I care about go it alone. I would rather they drink for a few more days than risk a permanent disability. Of course better yet would be a supervised detox. Here's a link about detoxing:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

OhBoy

Florence

Then damn him for trivializing their feelings for him.

But this is out of your control.

m1k3

Katchie,

Just as you have no control over his drinking you have no control over his not drinking. He is a grown man and deserves the dignity of making his own decisions and the consequences of of those decisions, both good and bad.

Your friend,

Katchie

I just didn't know this about alcoholics. It scares me because he does have very high blood pressure that he no longer takes his mess for.

Katchie

The other thing, maybe this is wrong headed, is yes, he deserves what ever the consequences are for his own decisions, just like the rest of us. But, if I can save my children from unnecessary heart ache I will try. Is that wrong?

Pelican

He may want the weekend for himself to get drunk.

Learn2Live

Katchie, you can't save your children from heartache. It's not wrong, we all understand your feelings and don't want ANY children to suffer. But the reality of the situation is, your children's father is an alcoholic. You can't change that and you can't control the world in order to prevent some imaginary problem you have stirred up in your mind. Don't worry, Katchie.

Katiekate

You can't save your children from unnecessary heart ache. Their father is an alcoholic, it's a given, heartache is a symptom of alcoholism.

You are in a very hard place, there is no simple answer, but what I know without a doubt, is that you do not deserve to be put in a position by an adult and the father of your children no less, where you are this uncomfortable or scared and more importantly either do his children.

Katchie

Thanks for the patience you all are showing me. I feel I've stepped into the twilight zone. I am going to attend an Alanon meeting Wednesday. Afterwards, I may spend a week with my dad out of state before school starts.

Learn2Live

Have FUN with your kids this weekend! Don't worry about a grown man who is COMPLETELY capable of taking care of himself and dialing 911 if he needs to.