amy55

Hey sparklingeyes, I was in an abusive relationship for over 27 years. I learned to never trust myself, to never trust my gut feelings anymore. Was always being told that I was wrong no matter what it was. You kinda get used to that, and you kinda always doubt yourself, and you kinda try to make excuses for how you feel, or felt.

I am just trying to understand here. I don't think that you would have posted this,if it was OK with you. But maybe I am overthinking

amy55

I think that there are many people here who want to be supportive to you. It just seems that you make excuses for him. I did this also !!!!! I was actually able to come up with an excuse for why my ex went to the bar everyday after work for about 4 hours. You know what my excuse was? I told him that I understood that he had stress and pressure and just needed to calm down for 4 hours before coming home.

sparklingeyes

My recovery has been very slow going since my ex had others keeping tabs on me. He is very high profile. My therapist said I may be hypersensitive with certain situations. It's not easy dealing with what happened.

amy55

ok, you're anonymous here. Do you care to tell us a little bit, so that we can get to know you better?

wicked

Does your fiancee know what happened to you?
If he does, that makes his actions even more troubling.
Making a playful move out of an abusive action is what someone who has been abused for a long time does.
Thank you amy55, maybe this is the connection.

sparklingeyes,
have you considered being by yourself for a little while?
you would not be distracted by, or trying to figure out your fiancee's actions.
you could work on your "hypersensitivity with certain situations."
you do seem very lost. take care of yourself sparklingeyes. it is the only way back.

Beth

Buffalo66

Sparkling eyes is either a terribly abused person who cannot even discern what is abuse anymore (I got to that point), Or a very disordered troll.

Cant help you unless you give something solid, Sparkling eyes.

Your High profile (boy)friend(?) wont be on the site.

amy55

Need to say that I worked a full time job, have an IQ of 145, and I was taken in. After 27 yrs of marriage I was diagnosed with PTSD, BWS or Stockholm Syndrome, anxiety attacks,and panic attacks. Just talk to us. We are here for you.

If you feel that you need to change your name to something that you never used before, then do that.

And Yes, I do believe that your bf was also in an abusive relationship prior to this, but I'm not sure who was the abusive one

amy55

^^^^

I just don't know if I can say this, I was totally messed up from my marriage. My childhood wasn't that bad. Did have an alcoholic father, was abused in my childhood, so maybe I am just sometimes still gullible. Thing is, if this is for real, I can't leave it alone. I have my doubts at times, because I was abused for a long time before I connected it with abuse. I didn't join an abuse forum till 2006. Was already married 22 years. That's how brainwashed I was. !!!!!!

I just feel that if someone feels like they need advice from people they never met, then maybe they do.

I have my doubts also as to whether or not sp eyes is just here to play with our minds, but I also feel like if she isn't, I would never turn her away

Seren

I think, ladies and gentlemen, that we are done here. Please go and help the next newcomer by sharing your experience, strength, and hope.

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