Looking4ward

Hi, developed the bad habit of watching movie after movie after television show while my husband was passed out or just simply gone. It was a way for me cope with the stress.
Now, though, I've been away a year and I just can't concentrate. The worst is when I am left with too much time by myself. The unfortunate thing is, because I have let the work pile up, I need these blocks of time to complete it. I wasted all of yesterday (rainy day, bad excuse).
Help!
I can't waste more of my life and my life, unfortunately, is passing me by!!!

CodieBird

Know that feeling all too well, Looking4ward. Don't overwhelm yourself with everything that needs done. Pick one thing, write it down and focus on completing that for a day. As you're able to complete a single daily item and your confidence grows, add a second item to your daily list, and so on.

I have found that looking at my life and how I live it in a negative way just fosters guilt. I start feeling so guilty all the time that I miss all the good things that I've done and have happened for me. Even if I don't believe it at first, I put myself in the loving hands of a HP who guides me where I should be when I should be, doing what I am meant to be doing. I'm often surprised to find that what I am meant to be doing isn't always what I think I should be doing! Maybe it's that way for you too?

We could have stayed with our ex's if our only purpose in life was feeling bad about ourselves. But we didn't stay. I think in ways it is harder to leave the feelings of being 'no good' or a 'failure' behind than it is to leave the dreadful person that we let convince or confirm these erroneous beliefs/lies to us. Don't isolate yourself, Looking4ward. Go to Al-Anon or counseling if you're feeling stuck. Put a big star on your calendar when you make a meeting or appt. You did something good for yourself!

Huggs to you!

LifeRecovery

Lookingforward-

I experienced something similar, but have found that in the last year (I am coming up on two years out) that is starting to even out and be more appropriate.

In some ways using time is a cop out but for me it also made all the difference. I found too that beating myself up just made it worse.

Tuffgirl

Structure your days a bit, and take your tasks one at a time, starting small. Each finished task will give you a renewed sense of accomplishment to hopefully continue to complete more.

But start small. Does the toilet need a good cleaning? Dog need a walk? and so on...

Lastly, I got my focus back when I moved out. It was heavenly to be back in my usual stride. Just sayin'...

Looking4ward

It's been a year since I've moved out. I think you're right about the small tasks. I have to find a way to focus on doing things maybe 10 min. at a time, otherwise I get distracted. Especially for the things I think will take more than an hour.

Tuffgirl

And I forgot to add...I talked with my health care provider about this and she recommended mild anti depressants, which I took for about 18 months and recently cycled off of. It helped immensely with the focus issue...and cycling off has been a breeze...the only effects is a bit more emotions (I got teary eyed yesterday watching a commercial for the Olympics. Not watching the games themselves, but a commercial...jeez!)