Birdgurl

Went to the house yesterday for the first time.....since he died. Broken furniture, office a mess, entropy, rotting food. Was very angry. But then thought if his surroundings were like this, his kind must be also.

6 or 7 pints of VO plus another half dozen pints. Pints in the car. Pot, hash. The coroner was very thorough.

Numb. Sick with bronchitis. Numb.

Thanks for listening. You are a lifeline.

Alucard

Damn. I'm sorry to hear of this tragic loss. The 4th-5th Stage Alcoholic is literally digging it's own grave, and whistling as it works. My soon to be ex has within the last month literally seen and witnessed the death of a pal/junkie/alcoholic peer it had, the now deceased slapped her 10 year old child, got the police phoned on it, was arrested and went into BAD DT's in a cell and died alone, in jail. She (exAW) was told "we hope you arent next" and she went into denial mode. This alcoholic/drug addled drunk is either too blind or too stupid to see that she damned well could be next.

CarolD

BG....

I hope you will consider getting help with the clean up
You don't need this on top of everything else.
Especially as you are sick with bronchitis.

Prayers continue

lillamy

I'm so sorry.

Fathom

((((((birdgurl))))))

Numb is okay right now. You'll deal with your emotions when you're ready. Be extra gentle with yourself. We are all here for you.

Wishing you peace,
Fathom

mmk11

My heart goes out to you. Deal with things and grieve when your heart allows it, there is no rush and there is no timeline.

Adventure

I'm so sorry BG. Carol is right about getting help with this. Take care of yourself.

Adventure

outonalimb

My heart goes out to you BG.

Alcoholism is such a hideous disease. Please DO take extra loving care of yourself right now. Keep leaning on us. And lean on those around you to help sort through and clean up the mess left behind.

Hugs...

Pelican

Sending Hugs and Support!

Yes, ask for help from friends/neighbors.
Sometimes neighbors want to help, but don't now how. This is one of those times when neighbors can lend a hand and feel useful in helping you through this process.

Please remember to take care of yourself also.
We care about YOU.

Seren

Hello Birdgurl

I can only just imagine how chaotic your husband's environment was...as chaotic as his mind. I truly, truly hate this disease.

I hope you will take Carol's suggestion and try to get some help in dealing with the clean up. You deserve some IRL support as you go through all of this.

We are walking with you.

marie1960

Burdgirl,

You are living what I fear. Even though I am no longer with XA, a year later I take a deep breath before I open the daily paper. I know it's just a matter of time until I see his obituary.

May peace and love surround you at this difficult time. You are not alone. We are here and we understand.

Learn2Live

I have never witnessed that but I have heard others tell of such decline. I know it is the reason my mother stays with my father, to prevent that from happening. What trauma that must do to her heart to stand by and watch him degrade himself, and she and her health are affected daily by his disease.

I witnessed AXBF leave our home, walked out on me, in a tornado of anxiety, stress, and outright lies and deception, leaving behind half his belongings. I see these things, the way he has just left them, and my brain cannot understand. It is beyond me to understand how a person can do what they do to themselves, and the people who love them. I understand it is a disease, but still I cannot fathom.