willowtree

Ax have been bombarding me with emails today.

He was supposed to go to 90 days rehab program, but it does not sound like he is going.

He is an alcoholic and a sex addict. He does not know that I know about his sex addiction, compulsive anonymous sex with strangers.

He keeps emailing saying he misses me, my laugh and smile. That I am the only one who understands him.

Classic manipulation?

These messages cause me a lot of grief.

suki44883

Have you considered blocking him from your email or adjusting your settings so any email from him goes directly to your trash folder?

m1k3

Willow, he isn't breaking no contact, you are. No contact is for you, not him. You don't have to open his emails or respond to his texts. I kind of handle messages from my wife the same way I handle political commercials, I change channels.

You can't control whether or not he will try to contact you. You can control on whether or not you choose to read and react to them.

Your friend,

willowtree

Yeah, I guess by having a reaction, I am still in contact.

I have not responded to any of his attempts to contact me. Did not reply to his texts or emails.

I have deleted his phone number from my phone and when he texted me, it came up as a number I did not recognize.

I will take the advice and will not even open texts or emails.

ZiggyB

I agree if there is any way you can block the emails for your own peace of mind please do so. It can't cause you anything but pain to hear from him now...

Learn2Live

Yes, classic manipulation. All those "You are special" messages they give us are to try to hook us back in. "We were meant to be together." "I can't live without you." "You are my soulmate." "No one else in the world understands me." "I've never felt this way about anyone but you." etc etc etc I've heard them all. I used to fall for them, can you believe? Now I know better.

Learn2Live

Oh, and when the "You are special" hooks don't work, beware of the Most Hurtful hooks. They will tell you things they have done in order to hurt you emotionally. The way it works is, they hurt you so bad that you feel like you are going to absolutely DIE, so you go running back to them to be comforted and get rid of the pain. It's sick. Just beware, so you can be ready, in case he starts sharing with you all the sick details of his sick sex life.

Protect yourself. He is a sick person.

Cyranoak

It is the textbook definition of classic manipulation. You already know who he really is. Stop doubting yourself. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Take care,

Cyranoak

willowtree

Thanks Learn2Live for a warning as to what could happen if he does not hook me with the "love bombardment". I have seen him turn around 180 degrees and become hateful, aggressive and threatening while drinking. That behavior can be turned on me in no time. Jekyll and Hyde. Although I think that kind of behavior is always there, just hidden and repressed.

Just another reason to block him.

Thelma

IMHO I WOULD open and read email and texts. It's been my experience that when I don't respond the contact letters get angrier...I'm not telling you to respond to them, but I think it's best to keep an eye on his state of mind so you can prepare accordingly. Just a thought

MsPINKAcres

hate you are going thru this ~ it is a difficult path ~

a good friend of mine in recovery was struggling with going NC with her ex ~ her cellphone carrier wanted to charge her to block his # ~ so she changed his name from "JOE BLOW" to "I Stole $$ from YOU" so everytime he tried to call her or text her or email her - she got a nice reminder of some of the behaviors he kept exhibiting ~

she also changed the ringtone to the most irritating sound she could find ~

It took her a while, but eventually he left her alone ~

Wishing you a peace, serene life ~

PINK HUGS,
Rita

laurie6781

(((((willowtree)))))

Thelma has a GREAT suggestion. Keep the emails, and if it continues, and it probably
will, and starts to turn threatening, print them all out, take them to the police with
your copy of the restraining order and have him arrested for violation of the order,
again.

As long as you continue to NOT RESPOND to any of his emails, you will get stronger,
and he will put himself in jail again.

This is all CYA for you.

Sending good thoughts and prayers.

Love and hugs,

XXXXXXXXXX

It is great advice to print your emails and texts and make a little file. As I didn't respond the ones I was getting got angrier by the day. The day I walked into the courthouse with them I easily walked out with a dvp restraining order. Without them it would have been only my word.