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Lip service perhaps?

Old 07-25-2012, 08:44 AM
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Lip service perhaps?

Hi guys,

Well. I have incurred the wrath of khan it seems. I shall explain. SD is staying with my mother in law this week, who lives in the same town as SD's mum. SD didn't want her mum to find out she was over there, for obvious reasons. Anyway, on Monday evening SD's mother rang our landline and I answered. She asked for SD, and I said she wasn't home. She said she had been trying to call her on her mobile but it was switched off. She asked exactly where SD was, so I lied and said SD was staying with a friend out of town for a couple of days & that reception for mobiles was bad where she was. She asked me to text SD to ask her to switch her phone on (Erm, yeah, okay, cos if its switched off then me texting her to get her to switch it on ain't gonna work!), and to save questioning her stupidity, I just agreed and that was that. I rang SD at her nans and told her her mother had rung & that I'd lied to her. SD was cool with that. However, we think she's found out as this morning she tried calling my husband 17 times (he's at work so didn't answer), she tried my phone 5 times (I was at work too), and she also tried our house phone. So far we have heard nothing else, but expect to this evening.

At lunchtime I rang SD and told her what was going on, and she said her mum had been trying her phone too but she didn't answer because she didn't want to speak to her. But, she did say she had had a call from her mums neighbour saying that her mum was going to an AA meeting on Friday! SD asked the neighbour if mum had stopped drinking and was told that she can't stop at the moment, but that's why she's going to go to AA.

In this country, usually a period of detox is required to start most alcoholics into recovery, and once dry they continue the support through regular AA meetings. I think SD has been led to believe that her mum is going to AA to stop drinking.

Is this right?

Thanks guys.
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Old 07-25-2012, 08:53 AM
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Hi NixNox!

If I remember correctly, "The only requirement for AA is the desire to quit drinking." So going to a meeting is a good start.
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Old 07-25-2012, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by gerryP View Post
Hi NixNox!

If I remember correctly, "The only requirement for AA is the desire to quit drinking." So going to a meeting is a good start.
That is my understanding too. A good start, but one meeting is no commitment to detox or recovery of any kind.
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Old 07-25-2012, 09:15 AM
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This is true. AA is an awesome organization IF one wants to actually quit. It is a fantastic support group and they are ALWAYS there, ready to listen and there are some nice and good folks there that have went through a lot of crap....Personally, I still imbibe the occasional glass of beer after work, or with a steak. BUT I know I can go there regardless and speak or not speak and there is no judgement, only support.
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Old 07-25-2012, 09:15 AM
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Thanks. We won't be holding our breath! Oh, and I will be quite happy to admit my lie when needs be!
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Old 07-25-2012, 12:23 PM
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Well we have slightly more information now. SD also spoke to her mum today, and she told her she'd been to see a Nurse to ask for tablets to stop her from shaking all the time, but the Nurse told her no, and that she needs professional help. She didn't actually say to SD 'I'm an alcoholic', but said she was attending a Meeting on Friday and would go from there. We've told SD that this is great, because admitting she has a problem is the very first step. But, we told her it's a very long road, and all won't be solved in one single meeting on Friday. We told her that her mum has to do this for herself, and want to do it for herself, not because she's basically lost her daughter and also her son. We also told her that many alcoholics will abstain for a couple of days, tell everyone they're sober, and then drink again within a short period of time, and that relapsing is common. She said 'so if mum phones me on Saturday and says she is no longer an alcoholic, I just take that with a pinch of salt?'. The answer was a resounding 'yes, a very big pinch of salt'.

We shall see.
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