RedCandle

Ha! Oh Lawd! What a play date it would be with all these toddlers in one room!

We keep braking the toy though! I want to stop breaking the toy and I know I have a part in both breaking it...and trying to fix it. I can't even get the fixing part right!

rdlesstraveled

and the toy is a puzzle that has 2000 pieces!!!!!!! argh!!!!!! lol

m1k3

Actually after a lot of work in recovery I found out the toy only had 1 piece.

Me.

Your friend,

rdlesstraveled

thanks Mike. I like that! I like that a lot!

RedCandle

Got it Anvil!

So, do I just give up ALL hope of any healthy future? Shut the barn door?
I don't want to keep the cycle going...but any hope of reconciliation would require some attempt at contact...

I hope I understood it right...

LaTeeDa

As M1k3 says, you give up the illusion of control. What will be, will be. That's not giving up hope, that's putting hope in it's proper place. Like a shiny knick-knack high on a shelf that you admire. Hope is not something you continue to lob at the other person to get their attention.

L

RedCandle

OK! I think my brain is back on straight!

This is all just control...
I'm trying to get my way...
My "truce" is my trying to control how he responds towards me and this situation...

"What will be, will be."

Amen!

I am SO glad I came on here...BEFORE sending that email! Many thanks everyone...

CodieBird

I had to (finally) ask myself honestly - how many SANE, enjoyable, productive, growth encouraging, fulfilling things have I been missing out on "hoping" that dry ABF would communicate/come around/be who I hoped/offer me the relationship I'd always been wanting. The answer is a lot. And I kept going back for more, no matter how many times the signs were clear that it just wasn't meant to be, at least not with him.

My horse left the barn before our 4.5 year relationship ever started. But I hung on like a champ and let that dysfunctional horse drag me through every chaos and crises infested gutter that I never knew existed.

For now, I'm excited to focus on me and MY interests for a change. In the future, I hope to have built a strong enough me to stick to my goals; develop the discernment to know exactly what and who will complement me; and the strength to walk away when it's clear that a relationship (or anything else) doesn't work. I'm almost 52 years old. I'd be a fool to spend any more of my remaining years pining for something I want that might (or might not) happen at some point in the indeterminate future.