At least I'll never have to be alone...
 

Apparantly all I have to do to find a girlfriend is hang out with people and tell every woman I meet that "...to be honest, I'm an an alcoholic and I'm X months sober."

It's the mating call for the codependent. Before I've talked to five women I'll have one "saving" me in no time who will tell everybody she knows it was love at first sight and I'm her soul mate. I'll suck her blood and savage her soul until she figures it out, then I'll replace her with another just like her. And there's always another just like her. Ironically, they all think they are unique.

:headbange

I'm not sure what to do when they figure out I'm not an alcoholic. Maybe that's when I play the "poor me my ex was a bi-polar alcoholic card" and ask her to "help" me learn how to tell the truth. It'll probably buy me a few more months. After that I'll still have the "my father was too critical" card. It all goes downhill from there though, unless there's a "I have asthma and I'm going bald card." It might work. There are women that codependent.

Hell, maybe I'll be able to stay home, blame others for my problems, deflect criticism back on my woman, and feel sorry for myself while they pay all the bills.

Good God.

Cyranoak

This might not be a very popular post... lol

Nope, i get the sarcasm, i heard many similar arguments myself. Btdt, and heck, i still get text rants saying those things. The best part about it being on a phone abd not in person though? I just turn my phone to silent, put it in my purse, and deal with it when i choose too.

What's with the women bashing? (was someone else yesterday)

Helps you how? Helps me how?

I haven't read all your story, but you are here, on the friends & family site, too! It's where anyone is supposed to feel free and safe to tell their story and work through their issues. To share, and learn, and share again. I imagine you used it for this too?

Sorry about your wife's relapse. So very sad.

Wishing you both the best.

You have to remember to say "Nobody has ever loved me like you do" and "I've been misunderstood my entire life."

Those two phrases are better pickup phrases than "wanna take my private jet to Paris for dinner?" if you're looking for a codie.

And let me add, it's not just women. There are male codies that are exactly the same.

Good God Man!
don't forget the "my ex took my nice car that I picked out and drove for two years" card. That should get you a free ride for a while.

Then when some wrinkle of truth about how you never made payments shows up; swear that you trusted you didn't need to get a receipt from the love of your life and how hurt you are by this wall of untrust.

From what I have read you are falling for this line, too...

It is very sad indeed that many people are so emotionally needy (I am including myself here), because IMHO, people deserve so much more in a partner.

I think life is stressful enough as it is. A partner is supposed to ease the load not make life worse. My 2 cents...

Sorry about your wife's relapse.

Can I have your number................................j/k.

lol!!!

Good God! There has to be a better way!
Hey, I will take a bald head and asthma over a drunk any day.
I have my own money comin in and my own medical!
Whatcha say?
We will go to Alanon meetings together and be called the "perfect couple"!
I like big guys too. Are you over 250?
The only problem I see is....do you drink? I hope not, it will lead you down a bad road.
And take unwilling passengers.
Otherwise, I am in!
:rotfxko

If you drink, then the terrorists win! I heard this on the intertubes, so it must be true!

:ghug3

Beth

geez, this sucks.

Ewww...I'll definitely take a pass. Not all women are that desperate and codependent.

Now, if you break out your reciprocating saw to help me cut out my bathroom subfloor so I can find out where it is leaking, I may be impressed enough to make you a sandwich.

No, they are not.
Actually, I am surprised Cyranoak is so knocked back by this.
And by knocked back, I mean surprised and pissed off.

If you do not separate this time, I cannot fathom how angry you will be next time.
Save yourself and your daughter.

Beth

that sounds like a lot of work tuffgirl. how much bathroom we talking here? those saws shake my dentures bad!

I dont blame the man for his anger. Not everyone here is happy and delighted to be dealing with the alcoholics' BS. It does cause some people stress, unhappiness, and anxiety, and makes them want to leave permanently.

See, i just want a guy who knows who Malcolm reynolds, boba fett, john crichton, captain jack, etc are. And doesn't judge me when i say " when i went to the comic book store the other day".

And then i'll beat that guy at star wars trivial pursuit. Lol

Up until I started recovery I probably would have seen through your lies, realized you were too healthy for me and found someone else with "real" problems....because that is how sick I was.

Thank goodness men and women get a chance to get into recovery and heal. I am even more grateful that I decided to take that path, and glad all of you are on it with me.

In my case the Rescuer role is so strong.. I just discovered myself playing it with a "friend".

Sheesh.

It all comes from abandonment and trying to make up for it doing more for someone else in order to get love. Manipulation.

Perhaps that is why I was with the alkie, another manipulation expert, just to test my own soup and see myself, that ugliness & sadness in me I did not want to see.

Sick and twisted.

I hope my next 30 years on the planet are lived differently!!!!!

nevermind

Hmmm, I don't think I blame him for his anger, I am surprised by it. I am in recovery and have been married to an alcoholic/addict, my life has been filled with alcoholics.
I am surprised he is so angry at codependents, because he is one. But, when I was drinking I hated myself, so that does make sense. Being codependent is tough, I do not have anything to ease the pain.
Yes, it did cause me some stress to be raised by an alcoholic I think. I was unhappy when my opiate addicted sister stole money from me.
Anxiety, oh you betcha, have a kid addicted, that will produce some anxiety.
I agree with you Alucard. Being around a drunk sucks.
Being the codependent sucks even worse.

Beth

Pixilation, you just want to beat him at trivial pursuit? LOL You are funny.

chicory probably said it best. geez, now my head is starting to hurt.
gotta go.