How did you say 'get out' and/or 'goodbye'?
 

My AH has been back & forth to detox twice, attending AA daily, and taking a hospital outpatient program in the past 2 months. Has also been arrested for DUI. He's still at home, but the drinking continues.

I am due with our second child in a few more months. Obviously, I can't be in the same home with an active A and a newborn. We also have a 2 year old.

For those who left, or asked their A's to leave, how did you do it? I did talk to him a few days ago and basically said I wanted him to move out, and if he doesn't, I will be. But it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other. I know he heard me because he has been sober since (yes, I know it won't last). I'm trying to avoid a huge argument over the whole thing and I don't want to create a crisis/drama over it either. Since he's sober, maybe now is the best time?

Do I write a letter? Give a deadline? Just get up and go? My plan, if he doesn't move out, is to move in with my parents around the time the baby is due and stay there for a while until I can secure my own place.

Sorry, kind of a vague post, but I'm trying get my head around it and come up with a plan (that I won't flake out on at the last minute.....).

Given that you are married, pregnant and have a toddler, I would consult a lawyer before I did anything, especially before moving out of the family home. There is such a thing called, Use and Possession of the Family Home, usually with child support, spousal support, and/or alimony PENDENTE LITE (pending litigation).

Consult a lawyer without telling him if you feel you have that much wiggle room timewise.
If you feel at all unsafe, pack up the kids and leave. Now.

I agree that consulting a lawyer is a good first step. Getting a free consultation doesn't mean you are filing for divorce. It means you are learning the facts for your situation, based on the laws of your community.

I left after another drunken night that included loss of body function and black out.

I left with three children.

After 3 days, I asked him to find a place to stay as I needed more time and the kids needed to be in their rooms/routines as well as taking care of family pets. I think the pets was the reason he agreed to leave temporarily ~ because when we returned to the house, it reeked of dog feces!

Ours was a temporary exchange of use of the home. I ended up moving out of the home 6 weeks later.

Inform him when he's sober and don't get into a discussion about it -- alcoholics always try to hang on to enablers. This is a very difficult time but it helps to keep in focus that the most important thing is your children's well being and safety. Absolutely consult a lawyer. God bless...

I wasn't married but long term relationship and I got legal advice even though i hoped it would end amicably.

I also wrote my XABF a letter as I wanted to put down what I felt in case I was upset or unable to convey what I wanted. It helps when I worry about whether I said x or y.

If you arent in danger, I wouldn't rush to offer to move out as you will end up worse off. Check your rights and do what you feel is in the best interests of your children. Take care and I wish you well.