Tomarrow, the legalities begin.

Old 07-15-2012, 06:34 AM
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Tomarrow, the legalities begin.

When I decided to get married to my AW, 12 years later, I only knew she was clean of cocaine. I had ZERO idea of the extent of her alcoholism. Had I known about the 2 six pack a day plus habit, the tremors, the vodka, her ulcers, the reasons behind the extended abdomen, the daily hangovers, and the way that inebriation changed her into this bitter ugly, person, there is no way I'd have offered her marriage. She was always thin, but her muscle tissue is now atrophied, being eaten away as she DOESNT EAT FOOD. This is a mental health issue at this point. She awakens at 11, and is nauseated and has sour stomach, due to the ulcers in her stomach, daily aggravated by 9-12 drinks. So no breakfast, and her lunch about anywhere from 11 to 2 is strictly liquid, about the only non alcoholic drink she tolerates is orange gatorade, for the dehydration caused by daily intoxication. She has no interest in dinner, as this is the time she begins the nightly march towards her 8 drinks she needs before she passes out. It is a sad, and pathetic life she leads. Now she is moved in with her fellow alcoholic gal pal and it is a daily drinking party, starting about 5-6 pm on the weekdays, weekends are at a friend's nightly houseparty, swigging down beer and shots until 3am.

Part of me is saddened, as the idea of marriage I had with her, at least in my mind, was of marriage with a SOBER woman. I had honestly been led on to believe that she was, at 41 ready to settle down and start a nice life together. That is never going to happen, and she has zero interest in quitting, getting aggravated if her drinking gets called on her.

In the end, all of this is up to a judge, to see if there is grounds for annulment, based on what I feel is a mental health issue I was unaware of. If he decides there are no grounds for annulment based on that I will file for an "at fault" divorce on the grounds of her alcoholism, and basically abandonment, as she moved out of our little home to be with her galpal after only 19 days??? We have no assets we purchased together. I hope this goes smooth, wish me luck.
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:43 AM
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Have you done any research on the Karpman triangle? aka the drama triangle or codependency triangle

What steps are you taking to address your codependency that you mentioned in another post? If you enjoy reading, "Codependency No More" by Melody Beattie is an excellent resource. Her books discusses the Karpman triangle, anger and grieving loss of what might have been.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:40 AM
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Hugs and strength to you.
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