Listened to an old messages from XABF
 

Was cleaning out my phone messages and heard a few from XABF. I thought it might make me more sentimental, but it didn't. Some of the ones I heard
were from when he was drunk and trying to hide it. Two were from after he had been jerky, caused me to hang up and then he called back later and more sloshed, acting like nothing had happened. I had such a sour reaction to them, then and now. I heard what I don't ever want to put up with again.

Good. Keep reminding yourself that you don't want to put up with that behavior.


Yesterday I was reminded of the frantic and self-involved nature of my AH: he called my cell, which I ignored; as I was getting his voicemail, he's calling my office! Ignored it. Our relationship was always on his time.

i just spent a little time re-reading our most recent texts. in one day, it went from *happy* and *grateful* abf to the name-calling, sarcastic, resentful, spiteful, and just plain mean xabf. i'm still shocked at how quickly it all happened. i know he was drunk when he sent most of the messages, but there are quite a few that he sent during the middle of the day sans rum that are meaner! in one, he said, "is there an insecurity anonymous group? would you be able to quit?" and when i responded that i was actually taking steps to help myself he chimed in with, "well keep up the good work, champ. it's really helping!" ugh...that is just dripping with sarcasm. reading these messages helps me realize i deserve better. no one should have the right to talk to me like that, or make me feel less than i am.

hope you enjoyed your friday night!

It's a shock when they turn on you so quickly like that. Not to mention painful. One day you have a loving, kind, considerate man and the next you have a cold, cruel, hurtful monster. I am still working on acknowledgement and acceptance of who AXBF is. He has become someone I do not even know. I too have voicemails that need to be deleted but I just cannot go there right now.

Yes, I have a few of those as well. I used to keep the sweet ones where he called me baby and sweetie and said how much he loved me. But, those got replaced with the
ones where he tells me to go have a nice life and to go f myself. Or how I was full of S*** and I needed to call him NOW at 3 a.m.

The difference is night and day. I kept the bad ones to listen to when I had any thoughts of going back to him. It helped a time or two but I seem to disregard them when we are back together again.

Ah, those sweet memories, LOL
Add to that the visions of him drunk with slobber and food all over his shirt, passed out in front of the tv.
Yesterday I received emails with a picture of me. Out of all the things he could say in the entire world, out of all the pictures he could email to me of our times together, he picks one in which I am drunk on vacation.
I'm not sure whether he was sentimental about it or trying to shove in my face--see! You have drank too much alcohol also and I have proof of it!
I started to try to make sense of why he chose that. I even considered emailing him back and asking why. Then I thought better of it...gee, I guess I can learn, amazing...to ask why he sent me that pic would have been to open up pandora's box...exactly what he wants me to do.

Shawty, I hope you realize that the alcoholic man in your life is emotionally very abusive. Red flags went off all over the place reading this post. I'm new and don't know your story, so forgive me if I am pointing out what you are very aware of.

I found a stain on our almost new expensive mattress after he moved out which I can only assume is from him p1ssing himself after a drinking session. Nice.

Anon, that's another reason I should be very grateful he's not in my world right now! I just got a new place and new furniture! My fear was always that when drunk, he'd try to sneak a cigarette inside and burn a hole in something.

As much as I don't miss the drinking, I really don't miss the smoking either!

no need for apologies. i'm actually just starting to come to this realization, myself. only took me two years and MANY break-ups!! ;) thank you. :)