This must be what the 'end stage' looks like...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
This must be what the 'end stage' looks like...
I'm pretty sure my exah is at the 'end stage' of alcoholism.
He's been in and out of rehab...four times.
He's been in and out of psych wards...four times.
None of it mattered. None of it helped. He ALWAYS went back to the bottle. Always. Maybe drugs too. I could never be sure.
Even though I divorced him 6 years ago, he's been in and out of my life because we have a son together. Our son is 13. I got him involved in al a teen about a year ago at about the same time I started going to al anon regularly. Thank God. Because I think we're going to need EVERY bit of our recovery to face what lies ahead.
My exah has locked himself in his trailer with the windows and doors shut. He will not answer the door although we can hear him moving around inside. The last time someone went in there, he had the heat on and it was 95 degrees outside. The place was strewn with liquor bottles. No food. Barely any furniture. He won't answer his phone. He's probably psychotic again.
I think his brother is going to ask the police to go over there on a welfare check. If they get him out and force another psychiatric hospitalization, nothing is going to come of it. I know...I know...I shouldn't say that....only God knows what the plan is....It's just that we've been down his road so many times before. They stabilize him - release him - and he goes right back to drinking.
If he is forced into rehab again, the same thing is going to happen.
I've lost hope.
I don't think he's going to recover.
I believe with EVERY FIBER of my being that he is going to drink himself to death and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do to stop it.
The only thing I can do is wait. I almost wish it would just hurry up and happen already because I know he is suffering. He's suffering badly. But he is an adult and if he wants to kill himself with booze there isn't anything anyone can do to stop him.
I'm worried about the effect this will have on our son. I know he loves his dad and worries about him. Even with alateen and all the great recovery tools he's picked up from his program, its going to hurt....alot.
My heart is heavy.
I dont' have much hope that he's going to recover.
I'm pretty sure this is the 'end stage'....and it aint pretty.
Stupid alcohol. Stupid f'in alcohol. I hate this freaking disease. I really do
He's been in and out of rehab...four times.
He's been in and out of psych wards...four times.
None of it mattered. None of it helped. He ALWAYS went back to the bottle. Always. Maybe drugs too. I could never be sure.
Even though I divorced him 6 years ago, he's been in and out of my life because we have a son together. Our son is 13. I got him involved in al a teen about a year ago at about the same time I started going to al anon regularly. Thank God. Because I think we're going to need EVERY bit of our recovery to face what lies ahead.
My exah has locked himself in his trailer with the windows and doors shut. He will not answer the door although we can hear him moving around inside. The last time someone went in there, he had the heat on and it was 95 degrees outside. The place was strewn with liquor bottles. No food. Barely any furniture. He won't answer his phone. He's probably psychotic again.
I think his brother is going to ask the police to go over there on a welfare check. If they get him out and force another psychiatric hospitalization, nothing is going to come of it. I know...I know...I shouldn't say that....only God knows what the plan is....It's just that we've been down his road so many times before. They stabilize him - release him - and he goes right back to drinking.
If he is forced into rehab again, the same thing is going to happen.
I've lost hope.
I don't think he's going to recover.
I believe with EVERY FIBER of my being that he is going to drink himself to death and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do to stop it.
The only thing I can do is wait. I almost wish it would just hurry up and happen already because I know he is suffering. He's suffering badly. But he is an adult and if he wants to kill himself with booze there isn't anything anyone can do to stop him.
I'm worried about the effect this will have on our son. I know he loves his dad and worries about him. Even with alateen and all the great recovery tools he's picked up from his program, its going to hurt....alot.
My heart is heavy.
I dont' have much hope that he's going to recover.
I'm pretty sure this is the 'end stage'....and it aint pretty.
Stupid alcohol. Stupid f'in alcohol. I hate this freaking disease. I really do
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
outonalimb,
I do not know what to say. I am sorry. My father died from cirrhosis, and it was horrible, I will be honest.
When I saw him in the hospital, he thought I was my mother and called me "Mary". That was scary, thinking my brilliant father did not know me.
I understand wanting him to hurry up and die. Please, just do it.
You know you can do no more. It does sound like the end, I wonder how he survives on vodka. My father's belly looked like a 9 month along pregnant woman.
The doctor talked to me about renal failure and such, but I kept watching my father.
My father was a vain man, he was a good looking man at one time.
The man in the bed, I did not know him.
I am sorry, outonalimb, I went out there for a minute.
Your son has you. You have your son. Both of you are on the path to recovery.
I was your son's age when my mother left my father. The word alcohol or alcoholic was never mentioned in front of the kids. I heard my mother say to her sister, "it just gets worse." That is all I knew, other than something was wrong.
So, I am glad you and your son are on the path together, with everything out in the open, the pain can be shared and discussed.
I will be thinking of you two outonalimb, and hope the suffering ends soon for all of you.
Beth
I do not know what to say. I am sorry. My father died from cirrhosis, and it was horrible, I will be honest.
When I saw him in the hospital, he thought I was my mother and called me "Mary". That was scary, thinking my brilliant father did not know me.
I understand wanting him to hurry up and die. Please, just do it.
You know you can do no more. It does sound like the end, I wonder how he survives on vodka. My father's belly looked like a 9 month along pregnant woman.
The doctor talked to me about renal failure and such, but I kept watching my father.
My father was a vain man, he was a good looking man at one time.
The man in the bed, I did not know him.
I am sorry, outonalimb, I went out there for a minute.
Your son has you. You have your son. Both of you are on the path to recovery.
I was your son's age when my mother left my father. The word alcohol or alcoholic was never mentioned in front of the kids. I heard my mother say to her sister, "it just gets worse." That is all I knew, other than something was wrong.
So, I am glad you and your son are on the path together, with everything out in the open, the pain can be shared and discussed.
I will be thinking of you two outonalimb, and hope the suffering ends soon for all of you.
Beth
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
I'm sorry for you and for your son. I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself and him, because, sad as it is, there is nothing anyone can do for your ex. Your story hurts my heart because I'm still somewhat new to all this and I'd love to think — that with love, patience and support — that all alcoholics/addicts can wave a fairy recovery wand, just get help and get better (I had to leave my XABF recently when his behavior crossed the line one too many times). But that's just not true for so many.
God bless you.
God bless you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 88
I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that you and your son are going through this.
My father finally passed away from alcoholism. He was never hospitalized. He was told that if he didn't stop it would kill him soon. Of course he didn't stop, it was just a reason to drink more. I remember, even as a teenager, wishing that he would just die. And then, he did.
It's not pretty.
I didn't have any tools to deal with it. Thankfully your son has a mom with good tools and he's learning tools of his own.
You guys are doing all of the right things. If your he chooses to drink himself to death, you already know that there is nothing you could do or say that will change that.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers
My father finally passed away from alcoholism. He was never hospitalized. He was told that if he didn't stop it would kill him soon. Of course he didn't stop, it was just a reason to drink more. I remember, even as a teenager, wishing that he would just die. And then, he did.
It's not pretty.
I didn't have any tools to deal with it. Thankfully your son has a mom with good tools and he's learning tools of his own.
You guys are doing all of the right things. If your he chooses to drink himself to death, you already know that there is nothing you could do or say that will change that.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 837
I understand what you are saying outonalimb, my xah has been told he has only a few months to live as well. The only hope is a liver transplant and they won't give him one. He's sobered up enough so I can actually have intelligent conversations with him but I refuse to see him, I just can't. He's just bones, swollen stomach and sores I've been told so when he asks to see me I tell him when I talk to you on the phone I remember in my mind what you use to look like before this disease ran rampant. I've been grieving as I'm sure you have for quite awhile waiting for this final time. My prayers are with you and your son.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
My brilliant Dad drank himself to death too. I stopped visiting for the last two years because I couldn't take seeing him that way and not being able to get through to him.
When he was at the end in the hospital, many WEIRD things happened that prevented me from seeing him in time.
Very mysterious, and then when I got there, a silver frog charm on the ground at my feet when I got out of the truck.
His spirit and body were sick but I felt he hadn't wanted me to get there "in time" and see him that way.
I believe you will have a spiritual experience together too.
Prayers and thoughts to you all.....
When he was at the end in the hospital, many WEIRD things happened that prevented me from seeing him in time.
Very mysterious, and then when I got there, a silver frog charm on the ground at my feet when I got out of the truck.
His spirit and body were sick but I felt he hadn't wanted me to get there "in time" and see him that way.
I believe you will have a spiritual experience together too.
Prayers and thoughts to you all.....
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