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Angry today

Old 07-11-2012, 09:42 AM
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Angry today

I'm angry that I'm tired and haven't slept well since breaking up with xABF and being in my new place. I'm angry I'm not excited about my new place because it feels so lonely and weird. I'm angry because I can't concentrate and get anything done at all. I'm angry because I feel so overwhelmed and scattered and shattered and useless. I'm angry because I've had horrible dreams. I'm angry because he let me down (again) ... but more at myself for letting him let me down (again). And even angrier at myself because as angry as I am, I still love him.

Just angry. Glad I have a therapy appointment today.
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:30 PM
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Awww Jess, of course you are angry.

It's been a tough couple of weeks for you.

Please, try to be angry without beating yourself up. You have a lot to be upset and angry about.

It's okay, this takes time, it really does. I had a break through yesterday and felt great , today it is a bit difficult. But I am learning, and growing, so are you.

My break through was about anger

I'm sure the counseling will help.

big hug Katie xo
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:43 PM
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big hugs! i know EXACTLY how you feel. keep your chin up, sweet girl. it sometimes helps me to pound the ever living crap out of a metal bread box with a hammer, or to make rectangular prisms and roses out of play-doh. i'm kinda angry that i have a roll of film from our recent vacation in hawaii to develop. can't WAIT to see pictures of him smiling next to me as we parasailed!! UGH!!!

this too shall pass!

misty <3
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Old 07-11-2012, 01:08 PM
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Thanks, friends. Knowing others get it makes it a bit more bearable!
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Old 07-11-2012, 01:41 PM
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PS I'm so scattered today, I seriously had to write *everything* I needed to do on a list. I actually had to write down "eat lunch" and cross it off. But I did it!
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Old 07-11-2012, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by jessiec View Post
I'm angry that I'm tired and haven't slept well since breaking up with xABF and being in my new place.

I'm angry because I can't concentrate and get anything done at all. I'm angry because I feel so overwhelmed and scattered and shattered and useless.
I'm angry because he let me down (again) ... but more at myself for letting him let me down (again). And even angrier at myself because as angry as I am, I still love him.

Just angry.
YES YES YES. Even with my extremely low expectations, my AH can still let me down! I'm angry with him and myself. Therapy appt on Friday, we will have so much to talk about!
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Old 07-11-2012, 02:28 PM
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I was afraid of anger before experiencing this part of my recovery.

Anger though gets me moving and gets me "doing." That does not mean I should be doing all the time, but it got me to set boundaries, stay no contact, get an apartment, move etc.

Learning about the grief cycle was really helpful to not beat myself up about all of the emotions I have experienced with this. Lets face it more emotions is not what I needed.
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Old 07-11-2012, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by jessiec View Post
PS I'm so scattered today, I seriously had to write *everything* I needed to do on a list. I actually had to write down "eat lunch" and cross it off. But I did it!
I have to do this EVERY day. So you get no sympathy for this one here
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Old 07-11-2012, 02:33 PM
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Jessie, I get you. It took everything I had yesterday to not take a sledge hammer to his bike he left here. And to not go on FaceBook and post some really nasty things about him. We're making it through this together.
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