O/T the MILLION dollar question
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Oh trust me, it isn't just women. It's men too.
And I don't understand it. I don't even understand what happened to me, the few times in my life that I've gone down that road. Most of the time, I have an extremely sensitive BS detector and I almost never let anyone take advantage of me or treat me badly.
And I don't understand it. I don't even understand what happened to me, the few times in my life that I've gone down that road. Most of the time, I have an extremely sensitive BS detector and I almost never let anyone take advantage of me or treat me badly.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
While I agree with so much of the posts above,
I'll throw another opinion out there that may not gain me any popularity, but oh well, I've been in the minority many times before. 
And it kind of meshes with LTD's post above.
I totally agree that our self-esteem as women is somewhat tender & affected by the men in our lives (starting with our dads), but I think we are MORE affected by the women in our lives. And furthermore not just those in our lives, but the bombardment of images of "healthy, atractive" women in print, on tv, everywhere you look. We are overwhelmed with imagery & then immediately begin making comparisons between them & ourselves. We do this on every level in our relationships - from the people we call friends to these nameless faces we see advertised everywhere. I find myself dissecting everything about myself from the size of my thighs to why another working mom can manage their time better than I can & when I realize I am doing it, it shocks me. I don't think of myself as weak or lacking in positive self-esteem.
I hear women around me doing this ALL THE TIME. When they are done ripping themselves apart for their perceived imperfections, they immediately flip to judgement of another's actions, appearances, etc. We should be each other's greatest support but often tear each other apart instead. Obviously this is something that has thrived in a patriarchal society so my mom never thought to encourage me to have confidence that she herself didn't have.
It's a twisted way of thinking & at this point in my life so involuntary that it makes me physically sick when I become aware that I am doing this instinctively. It is one of the TOP things I am seeking to change right now & has been a hot topic between me & a few great friends.
Again, just another dimension to consider.
And it kind of meshes with LTD's post above.I totally agree that our self-esteem as women is somewhat tender & affected by the men in our lives (starting with our dads), but I think we are MORE affected by the women in our lives. And furthermore not just those in our lives, but the bombardment of images of "healthy, atractive" women in print, on tv, everywhere you look. We are overwhelmed with imagery & then immediately begin making comparisons between them & ourselves. We do this on every level in our relationships - from the people we call friends to these nameless faces we see advertised everywhere. I find myself dissecting everything about myself from the size of my thighs to why another working mom can manage their time better than I can & when I realize I am doing it, it shocks me. I don't think of myself as weak or lacking in positive self-esteem.
I hear women around me doing this ALL THE TIME. When they are done ripping themselves apart for their perceived imperfections, they immediately flip to judgement of another's actions, appearances, etc. We should be each other's greatest support but often tear each other apart instead. Obviously this is something that has thrived in a patriarchal society so my mom never thought to encourage me to have confidence that she herself didn't have.
It's a twisted way of thinking & at this point in my life so involuntary that it makes me physically sick when I become aware that I am doing this instinctively. It is one of the TOP things I am seeking to change right now & has been a hot topic between me & a few great friends.
Again, just another dimension to consider.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tx
Posts: 117
Dont even get me started on the crap pile that is the Twilight series! Lol . It seems like for all the gains women have achieved there seems to be equal or more setbacks sometimes. Pop culture dictate so much around us, whether people choose to believe it or not. So many want that fairytale relationship but most tend to settle when they realize that,that fairy tale may never be a part of their reality. I thinks its a crappy sad situation all around.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Yep, men too...
...but it seems far, far, far more common in women. As much crap as women deal with in regards to cultural and political legacies of sexism, as a man it seems to me, and often, that women are their own worst enemies.
It's mind boggling to me, but I've been observing it most of my 46 years.
If women, as a group, loved and respected themselves as much as me and my friends love women (and voted as such, and treated each other as such) there would be sea change in the current societal socio-sexual dynamic, and girls would not be trained from a young age that their primary worth to society is contained in their boobs and genitals. I say this, sadly, as the father of a teenage girl who has been fighting this dynamic for 16 years.
My male two cents.
Cyranoak
It's mind boggling to me, but I've been observing it most of my 46 years.
If women, as a group, loved and respected themselves as much as me and my friends love women (and voted as such, and treated each other as such) there would be sea change in the current societal socio-sexual dynamic, and girls would not be trained from a young age that their primary worth to society is contained in their boobs and genitals. I say this, sadly, as the father of a teenage girl who has been fighting this dynamic for 16 years.
My male two cents.
Cyranoak
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by Cyranoak 
...but it seems far, far, far more common in women. As much crap as women deal with in regards to cultural and political legacies of sexism, as a man it seems to me, and often, that women are their own worst enemies.
It's mind boggling to me, but I've been observing it most of my 46 years.
If women, as a group, loved and respected themselves as much as me and my friends love women (and voted as such, and treated each other as such) there would be sea change in the current societal socio-sexual dynamic, and girls would not be trained from a young age that their primary worth to society is contained in their boobs and genitals. I say this, sadly, as the father of a teenage girl who has been fighting this dynamic for 16 years.
My male two cents.
Cyranoak
It's mind boggling to me, but I've been observing it most of my 46 years.
If women, as a group, loved and respected themselves as much as me and my friends love women (and voted as such, and treated each other as such) there would be sea change in the current societal socio-sexual dynamic, and girls would not be trained from a young age that their primary worth to society is contained in their boobs and genitals. I say this, sadly, as the father of a teenage girl who has been fighting this dynamic for 16 years.
My male two cents.
Cyranoak
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