Nonsensical

I am ready (I think!) to take on a new role and give support to someone who needs it.
I have suspected my business partner (and friend) has a problem with alcohol for several years. We met after I got sober. He knows I don't drink, but we have never discussed it.
About 6 months ago he mentioned he was starting to wonder if he had a problem with alcohol. I told him if he ever wanted to talk about it, let me know. I brought it back up about a week later, and he shrugged it off with the, "I'm no quitter!" line. I let it go, because I didn't want to close the door for later.

He missed work this past Tuesday. On Wednesday I asked if everything was OK, and he said he "needs to change his relationship with alcohol." He indicated he was ready to talk next week when he gets back from a trip to see family. We will see if he is ready next week. I remember getting a few dry days and then having amnesia about how bad things really were.
I hope he is ready. I am ready to be a good listener.

LucyIntheGarden

Hello Nonsensical,

You already know that alcoholism is progressive and that all aspects of personal and business life deteriorate over the years of drinking. Your willingness to be of support to your business partner is a good thing in that you can share how it was for you in your drinking days. You will be on a slippery slope, however, beyond telling your own story, for the day may come--perhaps sooner than you expected--that your business partner's drinking is a threat to your business reputation and your livelihood as a result. You may feel all the emotions family members feel when the alcoholic begins leaving a lot of wreckage in his wake. And your business partner, if he has not completely surrendered and is willing to do whatever it takes to get sober, may come to view you as the enemy, as a threat to the addiction that runs his mind. And you will have a serious crisis on your hands regarding your partnership.

So, this will be a good place to share what's going on. And Al-Anon meetings will be another good place. I am not a business person, but in any partnership with an active alcoholic, it is always realistic to shore up finances and to separate debts, etc. Something is going on in your partner's life that is shaking him up, some kind of serious consequences are happening. Just try to be realistic about your personal and business vulnerabilities.

Bekindalways

I so so hope you get a chance to be a supporter. That would be great.

Of course you may also be headed for a chance to detach and let some one you care about make bad decisions . . . . this latter possibility is my least favorite situation to be in. GAH!!

Let us know how it goes.

biminiblue

Oh, gosh.

I'm on Team Lucy.

Separate business and financial ties as much as possible and don't expect that he's just gonna lean on you and get sober and healthy. We all know that's not the way it usually goes. I hope I'm wrong, truly.