Ended It, Part 7: He surfaces
 

Short recap: Broke with ABf last week -- after he was a drunken jerk right before my birthday (and essentially flaked out on helping me move).

Today I heard from him via text. He got the brief note I sent (reinforcing things were over and wishing him well) and house key. He said he found another item of mine (something I don't care about -- he offered to meet to give it to me, I told him to toss it. I can't see him.). He also said: "I'm so sorry I let you down."

It doesn't change anything, but I guess I feel slight comfort in him acknowledging his role (the night I left for good, he was hurling delusional accusations and also insults). He still, somewhere in there, has a conscience and character, even if it was quite absent recently. Again, doesn't change anything, but lightened my heart a little.

It also heavier it a bit. We're done. it's official. He's not fighting for me. He's not begging me to come back. He's not promising to make things right. He's not pledging to stop drinking and make everything right.

It's over.

The end.

I'm so sorry you are hurting. It's always a painful realisation when the person you love won't stand and fight for you to come back. I'm dealing with the same thing at the moment and it hurts like hell. I hope you find peace and I'm sending you hugs xo

:ghug3

Thanks, friends.

you and i are definitely in this together! such similar weeks we have had. hugs to you! i hope you have something amazing planned this weekend. :)

Shawty, we sure are in the same boat! So let's pretend it's a cruise with a lido deck, pool boys and gourmet buffets. We will get through this!

Jessie your ending story sounds soo much like mine -- I was definitely there 2 months ago, birthday and all! I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. The finality of the breakup can definitely sting!

For me, the finality opened my eyes to how every day got exponentially better. I quickly realized that when I came home from work my house was *always* peaceful. I could go out with my friends anytime I chose without arguing about it beforehand. I could take my dogs out for long aimless walks and not have to justify my absence. I could answer my phone and speak to my friends without censoring myself to avoid XABFs anger. I could schedule meetings about an amazing promotion opportunity in a city that XABF dislikes. I could keep my fridge full of "chick" food and throw away all the slim jims. I could stop counting my prescribed adderall and worrying about it mysteriously running out before the end of the month.

I originally thought a birthday breakup was cruel and horrible -- but I've come to realize that my newfound freedom and independence might just be the most amazing birthday present ever.

Happy belated, Jessie! I have faith each and every day will be better for you!