so. very. sad.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 266
so. very. sad.
i'm sitting here in this house that a week ago was my home, unable to move and crying. i can't believe how much things have changed during that time. what a shame that alcohol has such a grip on this wonderful guy. what a shame that i fell for the promises. i don't know whether to feel foolish for believing in him, or grateful that i now have freedom. it doesn't feel like freedom yet, it just feels...hollow. oh, how i wish things had turned out differently. i keep telling myself that if only i hadn't opened my mouth, we wouldn't be here today. but i know this isn't true. it would have happened eventually, and i am lucky it's happened before i had to see him go through hell or lose everything. he always said that he didn't fit in at aa because he had never lost anything. i guess now, if he ever makes it back to a meeting, he'll have at least ONE thing in common with everyone there.
it's just heartbreaking to think that this man, who is so dear to my heart, is on the horribly rocky path. and last week at this time, we were excited about new activities and changes we were going to be making together.
it's just heartbreaking to think that this man, who is so dear to my heart, is on the horribly rocky path. and last week at this time, we were excited about new activities and changes we were going to be making together.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Shawty,
I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope you find your way through it and it brings you growth and strength.
It is so sad. I sat last week in the empty shell of what was once our "dream" home. It was cold and hollow... And yet, I could still here the faint sound of my babies giggling and the sounds of their little feet on the floor. All of it gone... A distant memory destroyed by alcoholism. I had no choice but to let it go and move forward with my life.
It is sad. It's so senseless. There are recovery programs to help my XAH yet he is so griped by the disease.
I have been out of the house over 6 months and I can say for certain that it does get better. It's still sad but the pain isnt nearly as sharp as it was the first day, week, month. Hang in there... Peace is coming.
I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope you find your way through it and it brings you growth and strength.
It is so sad. I sat last week in the empty shell of what was once our "dream" home. It was cold and hollow... And yet, I could still here the faint sound of my babies giggling and the sounds of their little feet on the floor. All of it gone... A distant memory destroyed by alcoholism. I had no choice but to let it go and move forward with my life.
It is sad. It's so senseless. There are recovery programs to help my XAH yet he is so griped by the disease.
I have been out of the house over 6 months and I can say for certain that it does get better. It's still sad but the pain isnt nearly as sharp as it was the first day, week, month. Hang in there... Peace is coming.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Get the hell out of there!!! Don't stay in places that make you sadder! Surround yourself with healthy, positive people. Talk to your best GFs! Go to Al-Anon and get some validation of the hell you lived! Don't EVER feel sorry for the addict or alcoholic; feeling sorry is the kiss of death! He makes CHOICES, BAD ones! It's not a shame he has a disease, it's preposterous he is making such stupid decisions!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Big hugs to you.
And you know, it's going to feel empty until you fill it with something.
That was a challenge for me -- because so much of my time and energy and thinking and feeling power had been taken up by my AXH and his addiction.
Just like alcoholics who stop drinking can get a little panicky because being sober leaves them with so much time on their hands, it's the same thing for us codies who have lived with them when we no longer have THEM to spend our time and energy on.
Deep breaths. It's a change, it's a transition, and those are never easy. The good news is, that just like a brand new purse, you can fill that emptiness with whatever you like -- and nobody's going to tell you you're wrong!
And you know, it's going to feel empty until you fill it with something.
That was a challenge for me -- because so much of my time and energy and thinking and feeling power had been taken up by my AXH and his addiction.
Just like alcoholics who stop drinking can get a little panicky because being sober leaves them with so much time on their hands, it's the same thing for us codies who have lived with them when we no longer have THEM to spend our time and energy on.
Deep breaths. It's a change, it's a transition, and those are never easy. The good news is, that just like a brand new purse, you can fill that emptiness with whatever you like -- and nobody's going to tell you you're wrong!
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