DefofLov

Hi everyone

I am alone on my couch. I had plans of seeing fireworks with my friend, but she wont text me or call me back. I don't know what is going on. I kind of knew this would happen. She has a lot going on in her life. I am trying not to take it personally.

I can't bring myself to be around my family. I already know they are drinking and doing what they do. I don't want to be around that at all. It's not good for me.

I also don't feel good. My throat and my ears hurt. I might be coming down with something. I am watching a show and every so often I am reading. It has been helping.

I just need some and acknowledgement really. I know I will be just fine. I am just trying to take it easy.

Love and Light,

Lily

Spes

:ghug3

heathersweeds

I'm on my couch too!!

We are all here with you!

DefofLov

Thanks all. So glad I have you.

GoingThrough2

Thanks for sharing that DefofLov,
I'm on the couch too. Shows & reading as well.
I want to go see fireworks too.
Hopeful that I will see some off my balcony, like I did last year.
There are people down at the pool partying. * not going there *
It is so hot out, I am just content for now being indoors and chilling out.
:ghug3
~Love, GT2~

DefofLov

Thanks Goingthrough, it's good to know I'm not all alone. I'm actually enjoying my show and book. It's not so bad. Hoping my friend is okay. Not feeling too hot. But I am glad I am reaching out to the right people.

Tuffgirl

Well I am doing house projects, and I can't wait to be on my couch tonight! Fireworks - meh - seen many a show in my 40 years on this planet. Tonight my couch beckons...a good book, a hot bath, maybe a movie!

Hope you feel better soon, Def!

DefofLov

I have seen a lot of fireworks too and I'll see them again one day. Next year, I will definitely see them. I am okay. I am safe. I am loved. Just need to keep reminding myself. And hopefully, this achy throat and ears will go away soon.

Seren

Mr. HG and I spent some time with his daughter, SIL, and grandson...now we are just chillin' at home watching the Cubs and the Braves! Who knows, maybe some ginger ale later . I hope you are feeling better soon!

Looking4ward

Who needs enemies when you have friends like that!

I'm going through the same thing and kicking myself in the seat if my pants for not having "real" friends. But, as I work through my recovery and become stronger, I know I will attract true and loving people into my life.

Until then, I'm enjoying the 4th in the cool of my air conditioning! It's hot today!!!

DefofLov

Me too Lookingforward. Comfortable and safe at home. I believe with my heart that if I keep healing and growing, life will just get better and better.

jessiec

Hugs! I'm right there too --on my brand new couch in my brand new place, watching my brand new big TV! I had friends over to swim earlier and they were supposed to stay for fireworks but got heat-beat and headed home! So tonight, I will watch them from my brand new balcony and truly revel in this INDEPENDENCE Day!

lizatola

Well, I hope you are feeling better! I hate that feeling that something is coming on and many times it's just a hormonal thing. I get colds when I get my period at least 4-5 times a year, it's weird.

I had a friend a few years ago ditch us for the 4th. She and her kids(my son and her son were friends) were supposed to meet us to watch the fireworks but she never showed. I called her and she said that she and the kids decided to watch a movie at home. She didn't even apologize for not calling or neglecting to let us know. My son was so disappointed as my AH never came along with us for this kind of stuff anyway. I am not friends with her anymore, I just couldn't handle her and all her baggage, as I was dealing with my own crud at that time.

RedCandle

Def -

I spent the entire day on the couch too...reading books about being an "Adult Child."
You know...some days...I just NEED to sit on this couch.
I need the quiet.
I need the soft cushion....

Last July 4th I cried underneath my covers all day because of one of my alcoholics.
Around 8:30 this evening...I thought about last year and said, "DAMMIT...I am NOT going to do THIS...TWO years in a row."
And I got up...and drove to the fireworks.
And I really enjoyed myself.

But when I need to sit on the couch...I WILL sit on the couch...until I'm ready to go see some color...

Do what you need to do! And never apologize for it!

DefofLov

Thank you Liz and Redcandle.

Liz, this friend has flaked on me before. Usually for some dude. However, she also put groceries in my house two weeks ago. I'm not really letting her neglect get to me right now. I can't let this incident put me in despair mode. I am not sure how to deal with this situation so I will give it time. In the meanwhile my ears feel like they are going to explode! Yikes! I also had a very lazy day today. That is a luxury for me as I work full-time and I'm normally in school full-time.

Redcandle, I don't have a car. But next year, I will get thee to the fireworks one way or another. I love, love, love fireworks. I bounce up and down and ooh and aah like a little kid every time.

You all helped me so much with your hugs and concerns. I am so grateful to have SR.

Love and Light,

Lily

Carol Star

On the couch too....off the roads with the drunks.....glad to be "Independent" of the alcohol/drug scene.....forever !

DefofLov

I am really proud of myself tonight and I am thankful to all of you for your support. I did not let despair take over, I did not allow myself to be a victim, and I actually had a very peaceful day alone. I really enjoyed my own company today. Well, my own company and my couch, Pickle is his name, and my little stuffed hippo...whom I lovingly named, "Hippo." He always makes me feel better when I hug him. My security blanket if you will.

I really enjoyed my show. I'm a night owl, so I will enjoy my book for a while. Then maybe head to bed

Tomorrow is a brand new day my loves. I plan to clean up my apartment, take the trash out, iron my uniform for work, sing and dance to Pandora, and enjoy the many blessings I have in life.

My friend kind of let me down, but that has nothing to do with my worth and seriously I hope she is okay. But I can move forward and still be okay. I don't have to let loneliness and despair consume me. I think surrendering my way to Al-Anon and the twelve steps has really helped me out a lot.

And on that note, I am heading over to the step 2 study section and adding another post to the one I already wrote.

Live is so good right now. I choose to be happy.

Love and Light,

Lily

Impurrfect

(((Lily))) - I'm sorry I didn't see this until know. It hurts when people let us down, but you have "hippo" and I have Elvis. Maybe, to some, that isn't enough, but I think we know what we need. I even have a "cat pillow" who I call "Priscilla Pussycat" and there are SO many times that just holding on to her? It helps.

You reached out, you talked about your feelings, and that is awesome, sweetie!! Some things in life just hurt, some people let us down. The really cool thing? You knew where to come to, to talk about it, and you knew we would get it

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

DefofLov

Thank you Amy! I know you are here for me always. It is comforting to know that I have so much support between Al-Anon and SR. It is so going to be okay. Especially now that I have faith. It feels so good to be okay.

Milly39

Def - I hope you had a good rest and are feeling brighter today

.