amy55

TCB,

where is the cake, why scramble around picking up the crumbs. If you are anywhere near me, please know that I can fit 4 more people in my house.

Just take care, I care about you, I care a lot.

TCB5568

Awww thanks Amy...

amy55

Can understand all of this. Can see that you are angry. Can somewhat see that you might be angry at me, or other advice given.

Can see that you are trying to make things ok in your head.

Yes, my H repulsed me also. I began to think that it was me, it wasn't.

After having sex with my now X, I wanted to jump up and down, and day1ay did that one count?

Just get it all out, OK??? Do it here. I'll never leave you.

TCB5568

My mother wants me to go to a shelter...now I think she cares more about drama and gossip than anyones feelings. She says F words in front of my kids tells my 8 yr. Old she thinks hes on drugs and smoking pot just as a way of normal speech for her. If I try to stop her she gets angry and makes me feel like ****She teells more stories of inappropriate gossip right in front of them and if I dont talk to her for a few days she gets all huffy.this is the one who watches one flew over the cuckoo nest with my 6 yr old at the time. Aometimes she sticks up for my AH and other times not so much...

amy55

d@mn keys keep sticking. guess I shouldn't eat while oncomputer.

Wanted to say that I meant that. If you are anywhere near northeast Pa, I have a place for you. You already have a place in my heart. Hugs to you and your children

amy55

I went to a shelter once.

Should have stayed,they were the greatest

My x, put his hands around my neck

Was he trying to choke me? Idk, but his hand left black and blues on my neck

Did I leave then?

Of course not. He cried to me,and told me that he didn't want to be like his father........

TCB5568

I can see that Im trying to make things ok in my head and its not working. Also its not ok when guns are coming out now. He says hes going to shoot the birds and that even the old guy next door thinks its ok and even my grandpa would do the same he says... i explained to him the next day he wasnt even a responsible adult to do that with the kids while drunk...and I know rationalizing wih him is no good..

amy55

I know you are here,and I know that you are listening. It's hard to take this all in. I didn't want to. But I needed to. Finally had to listen to that gut feeling that Ihad all along

TCB5568

I'm in MI not too far..thanks for he offer and for the love n support...

amy55

No,trying to rationalize is not good. He won't hear that. He knows that this upsets you, so he will keep doing it

amy55

only about a 8 hour drive. I am here for you, Pls know that

TCB5568

That is so hard that he tries to upset me...wonder why??? And then tells me I shouldnt be upset and that Im just as bad a person... then i feel sad and depressed for a couple days then fine a couple then all over again...so tired of it all. Just want to be happy again...

amy55

I don't care what he is doing outside, just get the kids in the house so that they will not be hurt.

And please come and visit me, or stay for awhile. Might have exaggerated 8hours. Mightbe less

amy55

BTDT,

you are talking to the most codie person that ever lived. I was always toldhow I should feel, how I should react.

amy55

and now I am going to get crazy on you

I know what it's like, been there,done that got the t that was washed so many times it is fading

First off---- you are not a bad person.

You are such a nice person,that sight unseen,I will open up my house to you and your children. OK----Got that???????????????

I will always respond to you and your post. I will pm my phone number to you

I care about you
Many people care about you

Care about you and your children

Now the crazy part. I started to believe my H,now x. Felt like I could not make a decision. He fought with meabout everything. Sometimes infront of people, he would say the things that I said, he just wanted to disagree. It was politics. Knew Icouldn't talk to him, started to keep everything to myself. Isolated myself. Still do tothis day.

Just pls stay here

amy55

Don't do what I did. I isolated myself, wanted to figure out things onmy own.

Doesn't work !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I needed to hear people, I needed to know that I wasn't crazy

Keep doing what you are doing now

Question things , but do not question him

It will only make your head hurt more

I think you do know what you need to do, but sometimes you just might need a push to get things going.

and like I said, I will be here for you, and so are many others.

you're life became something un controllable

let go, let God

add in the serenity thing
then add in the 3 c's

say it over and over if you need to

I am not an AA'r ,nor do I go to Alanon.

but I will say that Alanon might be good for you

Get out with other people. Know that you are not weak, or stupid.

He put these ideas in your head
Get them out of there

lillamy

TCB, I know it's hard to deal with family who meddles.
But I also think your mother is suffering from seeing the hell you're living in, and the hell your children are living in. She's probably trying to help. It's misguided. But people who love you will run out of patience and do stupid stuff in an effort to try to get you out of a horrid situation.

The only thing remotely as frustrating as seeing an alcoholic who refuses to get sober is seeing a codie who refuses to get help. And I say that with a lot of love, because I've been pretty dang close to where you are, sweetie.

Windmills

I think seeing an abused woman refuse help is more frustrating than seeing an addict refuse. Maybe it's just because I've been there and KNOW how much better life can be

Summerpeach

These are little beings you decided to bring into this world to sick parents deserve to have someone protect them.

There is a lot of talk in this thread about how crazy and sick your husband is, but the way I see it, you're as sick as him.
This is not about your H, but about you and how these kids are being abused.
Your ex is abusing you and you're abusing your kids by keeping them in this situation.

It seems your only concern is for yourself and not being alone or being too afraid to leave. This is not about you, but about these little innocent souls you decided to bring into this world.

If I were your friend or anyone else in your life who knew you, I would call CPS and have your kids removed from this home. You're both a danger to these kids.

Sorry if this is harsh, but that's reality

TCB5568

I don't believe that I am sick as he is and I am with my kids 24/7. I don't go anywhere without them. I don't leave them alone with him. I'm a good Mom. It's just that I can't hide the fact from them anymore that hes drunk and dangerous. I can't keep up the stress of protecting them and babysitting him..I take my daughter to gymnastics twice a week now for her to get away and interact with other kids and a nice instructor. Honestly Im not the type that goes out ever..but I get it...