Amber23

Hey all. So I realize I don't want to start to spin in this insanity. I am functioning rather well, but I am getting really caught up in my head.
Several reasons why:

-The constant monitoring of my AH for the last two weeks (after ER visit, and librium med and now drinking again),

-The What IF situations that keep me spinning

-the reading of these posts directing us newbies to read up on Codependency.

-and the concern that I am in so caught up in worries I am not as engaged with DD and I am questioning what am I passing onto her in my coping abilities

...BIG SIGH

So decided now is the time for Alanon, but I am SCARED!! lol Feel like i am starting a new school. Walking through the door with no idea where to sit, how to speak, how to enter the room! lol

Please share some encouraging words as I know I will be fine once there, but the anxiety of not knowing and opening up this side of myself is scary.

sidenote: I am confused what is happening with AH. He stopped drinking then slowly started up. had a fall but said he took the last 3 Librium and was dizzy. He seems really amped up (almost obsessive) during the day then gets beer for the night....I am so confused whether he is having some sort of mental thing or withdrawals from the pills or trying to hide the drinking....I guess it doesn't matter, but I guess I am curious if anyone experienced an odd upbeat behavior like this.

choublak

Have you read any of the Al-Anon literature? It might help you understand things better.

DefofLov

Hi Amber!

I have no idea what is up with his behavior.

I do know how scary a f2f Al-Anon meeting can be. I started going about a month ago and I was welcomed with open arms. At Al-Anon you are immediately surrounded by people who know what it is like to deal with the chaos involved in alcoholism.

I am so glad I started going. It has helped me to accept the alcoholics in my life and let go of my past. It will help me more in the future. No one there will judge you or put you down.

There should be several different groups in your area. Try different ones. When a newcomer attends his/her first meeting, they have a special meeting designed to welcome you. You to not have to share your experience. People will share there experience and what Al-Anon has done for them.

It is worth a try for sure. Even if your first go isn't that great for you, still give it a few more visits. They say try six at least.

Hope you give it a shot.

Love and Light,

Lily

Bluebonnet1

I was the same way! And I sat there for a while before the leader asked if I was new. I encourage you to go a little early, identify the leader, and quietly go up and say "I'm new, what should I do?" they should have a newcomer packet, and then will probably introduce you at the beginning of the meeting. But like Lily said, no obligation to talk. At my meeting, they opened with the 12 steps, and then it was nice that one longtime member explained to us newbies how it parallels your own life vs the A. Nobody will give you advice, you are just there to share and gain insight from others' stories. After you speak, everyone says "thanks for sharing". That's it.

I'm trying another one at 10:30 today so that I don't have to wait for Mondays group. Too much chaos Thurs night and I need support! What little I spoke Monday,I cried, so people came up after and just hugged me. It was overwhelming and emotional, but I'm so glad I went, and like Lily said, they encourage 6 before you give up. Here's to #2 for me!

RoseMadder

Please go! You will be welcomed and supported, there is no judgement, and the folks there truly understand the insanity. You do not have to speak, just listen if you wish. The program truly is a lifesaver. I wanted my life back, and I am so glad I started going!

fourmaggie

I have been going for over 2 years now...and love it!....I LISTENED! for me that is hard to do is NOT to talk....for once i listened and got something out of each and every single meeting...

i was given the COURAGE to CHANGE book...i read it every day...and also i read Melody Beatties the LANGUAGE of LETTING GO....wonderful reads...(well, any Melodys books are)

please go to 6 meetings...try them all...different times of days and days of the week....you will feel like home....

congrats on finding SR...many things to read including all the stickies...

jamaicamecrazy

Congrats for the decision to help yourself and your daughter. You will find people who "get it". You will hear stories similar to yours and some much worse. You will find people who will support you emotionally. I have never gone to a meeting that I did not feel better at the end or considered a waste of time. You can talk and be heard without interruption or judgement. You can listen and think. You can learn new tools to keep yourself calm when the insanity starts. You will start to look at life beyond the A who is consuming you. Please let is know how you do.