Blogs


Notices

Ended it

Old 06-28-2012, 12:51 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Ended it

... my relationship with ABF that was dragging me down way more than lifting me up. We don't live together but have done so this week as my new place is being finished. Spending so much time together, I saw more of the addiction (which appears to be getting worse). It has taken me a long time to really get it ( new to alcoholism), but I'm finally realizing the only thing I can fix is me and the situation. It pains me because I love him dearly. My therapist said something that resonated yesterday: There is nothing loving about sitting around and watching someone self-destruct." The most loving thing I can do for him and me is let go.

Part of me is so sad.

And part of me is so relieved.

Thanks for listening!
jessiec is offline  
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to jessiec For This Useful Post:
Adventure (06-30-2012), Cyranoak (06-28-2012), dollydo (06-28-2012), EnglishGarden (06-28-2012), Free108 (06-28-2012), Impurrfect (06-28-2012), Katiekate (06-28-2012), KRA (06-28-2012), marie1960 (06-28-2012), PeacefulMe (06-28-2012), RollTide (06-28-2012), Seren (06-28-2012), Shadydeal (06-28-2012), steelmagnolia (06-28-2012), Still Waters (06-28-2012), Sungrl (06-28-2012), SuzyMarie (06-28-2012), tjp613 (06-28-2012), transformyself (06-28-2012), Tuffgirl (06-28-2012), wicked (06-28-2012)
Old 06-28-2012, 01:00 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,177
((jessiec)) - good for you!! I know it's hard, been there done that, but when we focus on what is best for US? It's a really good thing

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
Impurrfect is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Impurrfect For This Useful Post:
wicked (06-28-2012)
Old 06-28-2012, 01:20 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sungrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
I wish I had your strength. I can't seem to let go of my AB of almost two years. He is going to be spending a short amount of time in jail soon for probation violation, due to his excessive drinking. I am glad of that, which is pretty sad. At least I will not have to worry about him and I can spend some time working on myself and my kids. He says he wants to stop the madness but his actions do not show me that. He is a terrible binge drinker and an unemployed daily drinker. It's sooooo sad to watch. I'm hanging in there for now and I hope to god he thinks enough of himself to recover from this hell
Sungrl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Sungrl For This Useful Post:
Shadydeal (06-28-2012)
Old 06-28-2012, 01:50 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Carol Star's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Blog Entries: 2
Yep- on the tv show intervention- Candy Finnigan, a counselor asked a girl- "What part about loving that man makes you happy ?" The Zen quote helped me "Let go or be dragged."
Carol Star is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Carol Star For This Useful Post:
Free108 (06-28-2012)
Old 06-28-2012, 02:10 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 50
[QUOTE=jessiec There is nothing loving about sitting around and watching someone self-[/QUOTE]

I love this!!! have to remember that.
PeacefulMe is offline  
Old 06-28-2012, 03:21 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,047
Finally...

...a therapist who isn't a complete moron about addiction.

As for you Jessie, congratulations and my condolences.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Originally Posted by jessiec View Post
... my relationship with ABF that was dragging me down way more than lifting me up. We don't live together but have done so this week as my new place is being finished. Spending so much time together, I saw more of the addiction (which appears to be getting worse). It has taken me a long time to really get it ( new to alcoholism), but I'm finally realizing the only thing I can fix is me and the situation. It pains me because I love him dearly. My therapist said something that resonated yesterday: There is nothing loving about sitting around and watching someone self-destruct." The most loving thing I can do for him and me is let go.

Part of me is so sad.

And part of me is so relieved.

Thanks for listening!
Cyranoak is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cyranoak For This Useful Post:
marie1960 (06-28-2012), wicked (06-28-2012)
Old 06-28-2012, 08:56 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 104
Kudos for being so brave. I kicked ABF out 2 weeks ago but he's been sober and going to recovery groups, which makes me even more confused. Sad, yet relieved, I know thos two emotions well.
Good for you for putting yourself first.
Bluebonnet1 is offline  
Old 06-28-2012, 09:01 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Blog Entries: 1
He is dragging you down way more than lifting you up, By george, I think you got it!!! When times get tough just keep telling yourself this.

Wishing you all good things.
marie1960 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:00 AM.