Great boyfriend but so inconsiderate....recovering alcholic.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 16
this has all been really useful information
he knows the deal breakers, if he cheats he is done. I can pretty much work with alotta other stuff but can't with that...
with that said it is simple things
like me asking if he will be there at dinner time, and not getting answers
however when he shows up after working overtime expects a hot meal
that was a huge one in the begining, as he truely had to learn how to eat again
he never ate when he drank
It took me not cooking for him when he showed up after dinner for him to realize that hey, she just doesn't wanna do dishes twice, it isn't she is being controlling like the others she cares about my well being
please be aware, he is fully capable to cook for himself and does
but alot of times it is a box of cereal, instead of a good meal
He says that he is who he is and that is it, however when I do bring things to his attention.....he does try even tho he wont admit it
I have learned alot here and appreciate your answers
he knows the deal breakers, if he cheats he is done. I can pretty much work with alotta other stuff but can't with that...
with that said it is simple things
like me asking if he will be there at dinner time, and not getting answers
however when he shows up after working overtime expects a hot meal
that was a huge one in the begining, as he truely had to learn how to eat again
he never ate when he drank
It took me not cooking for him when he showed up after dinner for him to realize that hey, she just doesn't wanna do dishes twice, it isn't she is being controlling like the others she cares about my well being
please be aware, he is fully capable to cook for himself and does
but alot of times it is a box of cereal, instead of a good meal
He says that he is who he is and that is it, however when I do bring things to his attention.....he does try even tho he wont admit it
I have learned alot here and appreciate your answers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 16
I have went to meetings
I can not seem to get into them, for lack of better words
I understand I didn't cause him to drink, and it si not my fault he does
I do things for me, and care for myself and my son before anyone else's well being
that is why i turned here....
which has helped
thank you
I can not seem to get into them, for lack of better words
I understand I didn't cause him to drink, and it si not my fault he does
I do things for me, and care for myself and my son before anyone else's well being
that is why i turned here....
which has helped
thank you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 16
In the ten years we were best friends he was always more considerate of me, then anyone else.
I saw how he treated his exs, in fact knew all of them and they were all jealous of me.
So I knew how he treated the others, however I thought I would be different.
I would never put his recovery in front of us
I was and always have been, that comes first, even if he needs to go to a meeting and we had plans to go to dinner.....certain things come first
I saw how he treated his exs, in fact knew all of them and they were all jealous of me.
So I knew how he treated the others, however I thought I would be different.
I would never put his recovery in front of us
I was and always have been, that comes first, even if he needs to go to a meeting and we had plans to go to dinner.....certain things come first
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I am here to learn if certain things like consideration do ever come to a person in recovery
Have you suggested counseling? Is he willing to change? Have you told him it makes you unhappy? What I've learned is what you see is what you get. Change is very difficult and people only do it because they want to.
It's also important to ask yourself if this is what you want. If it isn't I suggest leaving.
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