Are they all liars??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I used to lie about alcohol.
I no longer drink alcohol. I no longer lie.
Not really fair to completely stereotype people though. Some alcoholics while under the influence will tell you the truth! Something that has maybe been bottled up for a while and it comes out after 'dutch courage' Different strokes and all that.
Its only in the complete denial stage when the bear-faced lies tend to appear IME.
I no longer drink alcohol. I no longer lie.
Not really fair to completely stereotype people though. Some alcoholics while under the influence will tell you the truth! Something that has maybe been bottled up for a while and it comes out after 'dutch courage' Different strokes and all that.
Its only in the complete denial stage when the bear-faced lies tend to appear IME.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
don't we ALL lie, just a little bit? our age, our height, our weight, our accomplishments....how much we REALLY spent on shoes or yard equipment?
Your friend,
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Originally Posted by lillamy
What I finally figured out about my AXH was that it wasn't just random lies just for yucks.
It was more like... he lived in an alternate reality.
He is a person of incredibly high moral standards. He's extremely harshly judgmental of absentee fathers, drunks, people who don't walk their talk, hostility, lack of empathy and compassion, racism, and sexism.
Because his alcoholism causes him to repeatedly violate his own high moral standards, he has to create an alternate reality where his behavior has excuses and understandable explanations. Because the alternative would be recognizing that his alcoholism has turned him into everything he detests. And recognizing that would mean he would be forced to draw the conclusion that he needs to stop drinking.
And the addiction protects itself.
That's the insiduosness of this disease.
It protects itself.
So he writes a script for his life where his actions are acceptable because [insert lies, fairy tales, altered reality here]... because the alternative would be too painful to face.
It's not just lies to see if they can get away with it. It's much sadder than that. They actually believe that what they believe (and say) is the truth.
It was more like... he lived in an alternate reality.
He is a person of incredibly high moral standards. He's extremely harshly judgmental of absentee fathers, drunks, people who don't walk their talk, hostility, lack of empathy and compassion, racism, and sexism.
Because his alcoholism causes him to repeatedly violate his own high moral standards, he has to create an alternate reality where his behavior has excuses and understandable explanations. Because the alternative would be recognizing that his alcoholism has turned him into everything he detests. And recognizing that would mean he would be forced to draw the conclusion that he needs to stop drinking.
And the addiction protects itself.
That's the insiduosness of this disease.
It protects itself.
So he writes a script for his life where his actions are acceptable because [insert lies, fairy tales, altered reality here]... because the alternative would be too painful to face.
It's not just lies to see if they can get away with it. It's much sadder than that. They actually believe that what they believe (and say) is the truth.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 329
Don't even get me started.....my experience w my EXAB was lie lie lie! But in his case I think it's almost like a reality issue or maybe not! Either way it doesn't matter! A lie is a lie! However, no 2 people are the same! Thank God!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
If the A in your life lies about all kinds of stuff unrelated to their addiction, chances are fairly good that they suffer from confabulation. This is a recognized condition, sometimes caused by drinking/using, where the A actually "makes up" stuff in their brain to overcome the gaps that exist when they drink/use to the point of blackout.
This is a coping mechanism for the brain. Chances are this is done without malice and they likely even believe the stuff they are saying. This is one of the symptoms of wet brain, aka Korsakoff Syndrome. These links may help.
Confabulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Korsakoff's syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This is a coping mechanism for the brain. Chances are this is done without malice and they likely even believe the stuff they are saying. This is one of the symptoms of wet brain, aka Korsakoff Syndrome. These links may help.
Confabulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Korsakoff's syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
YES
staring at 4 empty 40oz bottle of RYE and asking him did he drink it..."nope, not me"
shaking my head at the site of them empty and put back...thinking *i hate rye*
was not denial about it...just cant explain NOT SMELLING it....
staring at 4 empty 40oz bottle of RYE and asking him did he drink it..."nope, not me"
shaking my head at the site of them empty and put back...thinking *i hate rye*
was not denial about it...just cant explain NOT SMELLING it....
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