WorkInProgress8

Im sitting here after breaking down in tears trying not to start crying again because for some reason my best friend thought it would be a good idea to send me pics she saw online of my XABF & his new tool, I mean enabler I mean girlfriend. She knows my situation better than anyone and knows how strong ive been and continue to try to be so I went off! I asked her why she did that knowing how hard ive been trying to move on. Told her I would never send a pic like that but how would she feel if I did. She said she’s sorry multiple times, didn’t know if she should’ve sent them in the 1st place without asking me and I know she wasn’t trying to hurt me intentionally but that’s what happened. I feel like my breakdown is a setback and this situation is making me question my strength thus far: it’s making me feel like I haven’t gotten over my X as much as I thought I had. I know I don’t want to be with him, & I figured he was with this girl, so he can be her headache now but id be lying if I said seeing the evidence in my face didnt hurt. It hurt a lot worse than I thought, but it hurt…….

suki44883

I'm sorry. That was an incredibly insensitive thing for her to do.

Tuffgirl

No kidding - totally thoughtless. Thought-less being the operative word.

She didn't think. Accept her apology and forget about her action.

And hurt - yes it hurts. Doesn't matter the illogical nature of the hurt - it just does. Feel it today. Be ok with it. And then let it go.

Big hugs!
~T

wicked

I am very sorry you were hurt so badly by your friend.
It does seem very thoughtless to me, what was she hoping to accomplish?
Some people have no idea how to handle situations such as yours, that the last thing you want is proof of what your ex bf is doing.

I hope she understands now, and you have told her what he does is not in the universe of things in your life.

:ghug3

Beth

PS Why would you think this is O/T? I think it is perfectly on topic for this forum.

wicked

Yes, snide snarky back stabbers too.
Just consider it.
there are people who like to see the results of their pot stirring.
they have no empathy.
think about other things where she might have shown her "oh, I didn't know" side.
If she has stepped in it more than once, I say lessen your contact or drop her.
I am sorry.

WorkInProgress8

I dont think she did it to be malicious &i dont think she is a backstabber. We've been friends for many years and never gone through something like this. I definitely think the best words described above for this situation were 'insensitive'on and 'thoughtless'. I put the title as off topic because my post was more about my friends actions & not my XABFs so i thought it was O/T. Im just tired of feeling like people want to hurt me when thats the last thing i want to do to anybody in my life.

wicked

I understand now. I do hope your friend understands now.
To me, this forum is all about you. Whatever affects you about alcoholism is on topic to me. But that is just my opinion.
Do you go to meetings? To talk to people who do get what you are going thru?
I hope so.

Beth

WorkInProgress8

Yea. I attend alanon & see a therapist. Im trying to do better for myself, i really am.

Cyranoak

Way to set a boundary with her afterwards. If she never does it again you know it was a simply a mistake. If she replicates it in any way that's a different story entirely and she may need to go onto the former friend list.

Take care,

Cyranoak

fourmaggie

I totally agree with this...totally...been there and done that just a few months ago to a dear friend....

wicked

I believe you are. And you are doing better for yourself.
:ghug3