change in perspective changes everything

Old 06-21-2012, 09:25 PM
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change in perspective changes everything

I am proud of myself! I know my posts over the past 2 months have been sad because I have been sad...But tonight, as I lay here with my kids watching a movie I am so happy! For the first time since AH walked out on me I laughed with the kids...laughed hard from my gut type of laugh! I am peaceful. Sometimes Ill work myself up during the day or at night and then I use my newfound coping tools and the storm passes.

Of course everyday, all day I miss AH from the depth of my soul and it is right to do so...I am mourning the man he used to be and the man I hoped he'd become again. I can't engage and I just pray and love him from a distance. I don't know what will ever come of our marriage but for the first time in a long time, I'm making my own rules and not reacting to him and it feels so liberating!

Feels so good to have just let it go and realize I am powerless and sit back...not control anything! Hence, Step 1! Its not much but its something so I am going to pat myself on the back because no one else is going to do that for me. I am proud of myself. Thank you SR!
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Old 06-21-2012, 09:33 PM
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Pat away!!!
I'm glad you're having a good night. I can't think of a single thing in life that beats a good belly laugh with your kids!!!
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Old 06-21-2012, 09:35 PM
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Picturing you laughing with the kids just warmed my heart. I think you are doing wonderful too. Kudos to you hun.
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Old 06-21-2012, 09:36 PM
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I remember, a couple months after separating from my AH, my kids and I watched "Little Miss Sunshine." We all laughed so hard. And I remember thinking to myself later that night that I hadn't laughed out loud with abandon for years. It was a turning point for me, too. And even when I downsize, and purge all my DVD's, I will keep that one because it is a symbol of my recovery.

Go ahead and congratulate yourself. You deserve it!

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Old 06-21-2012, 10:00 PM
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Now this is a great post! Good for you, and thanks for sharing. I am most happy for you tonight.
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Old 06-21-2012, 10:11 PM
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Great post, SW! It made me smile!

In a recent Al-Anon meeting I attended, one member said that Step One of the Twelve Steps ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable") takes her out of the picture.

I loved that.

When we are out of the picture, the alcohol problem is all up to the alcoholic.

We have a life to get back to.

Good going, SW, and God bless your babies.
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Old 06-22-2012, 02:42 AM
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It's so good to read that you are having enjoyment and laughter again.

Thanks so much for sharing the good with us , you are strong !

More laughter to come. Katie
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:43 PM
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fabulous post, thank you so much for sharing it with us.

In the beginning of coming here when I was hurt and lost and confused and angry and didn't know which way was up, it felt sometimes like people were speaking a foreign language, I could just not get what people were talking about. My world-view was an oil tanker that had been developing and heading in one direction my whole life, and suddenly I was supposed to do an about turn, with no clue how to steer the darn thing.

Those first changes, which seemed to have small results took herculean effort because they required me to question and re-assess everything I thought I knew.

the first steps are the hardest, however small they seem: you're doing great
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