Chrissy44

My goodness lm204, did we date the same man? I am so sorry things got so ugly for you. I am SO impressed you've managed to stay NC while working with the guy!

I totally agree with marie1960's assessment. I get how weird and invasive the uninvited "favors" can feel. Something that helped me a lot was setting a filter to auto-forward all the XABF's emails to my brother. That way there's still a paper trail of his unwanted contacts but the messages never get to interrupt my day..

Thanks for telling your story. It is wonderful to see we're not alone in the world -- and even more wonderful to hear that things are getting better for you! Rooting for you over here!!

jessiec

Way to go! You sound like you are handling an uncomfortable situation extremely well!

lm204

my mother is in the hospital. he found out about it from a mutual friend and began emailing me about it. i think i am going to have to distance myself from friends we share for a while.

lm204

just an update: it turns out my ex is living with another woman (after 3 months of being broken up with me following an almost 4 year relationship! that seems insane!!). he phoned me yesterday and was eerily calm until i tried to get off the phone. he yelled that he wanted to hear about what i've been up to because 'he still cares so much about me'.

ew. i woke up thinking about him with another woman and felt sick all morning. i know that i should be happy to be moving on and not dealing with the abuse, but for some reason i can't get over this new person coming in. i'm sure this is not uncommon with addicts and other disordered individuals. but it still hurts.

this ruined 6 weeks of no contact (except for stupid emails on his part that i can't block because we work together). i'm back to day one today. lesson learned? look at your call display before you answer the phone.

PaperDolls

I'm sorry you're going through this. Keep being strong (again) with the no contact. I know it can be tough.

It sounds to me like he's harassing you, on the job. You don't have to put up with that. You're employer is legally bound to deal with the situation - if they have to fire him, so be it.

BlueSkies1

You can set boundaries by telling him that he is not to contact you except for legitimate work. If he fails to do this, talk to your friend who is his boss. She could get involved.
Or: 2) Is there really any work emergencies that can't be handled via email through the work-only account?

So he's with another woman. Yeah, it makes you sick, but remember--he's simply VERY NEEDY. He probably doesn't care about her at all, he's just using her to not have to face himself.

lm204

thanks everyone...i found out this weekend that he'd been using IV drugs and had actually overdosed during christmas last year and didn't tell me. i'm so glad i'm not with him anymore...