It's not my job...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 152
It's not my job...
I was on my way home from work yesterday and was thinking about how I, being a codie, try to make sure that everything runs smooth and the waters are calm. And then it hit me, that's not my job! So it will be interesting to see what kind of list can get started of what is not our job.
Its not my job to worry about how my AW reacts or doesnt react to situations.
Its not my job to worry about how my AW reacts or doesnt react to situations.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
It's not my job to help my AH clean up his post-binge messes...this week alone he's asked me to find him a dog kennel, find him a place to stitch his hand that he cut while drunk, find him a motel for work, and help him order his replacement phone. I'm not his assistant anymore!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 159
[QUOTE=lillamy;3453674](I have a poster on my office wall that says: "Not my circus; Not my monkey"...)]
LMAO I love that!
It's not my job to repair the hate and distrust my friends and family have for him if we ever get back together (don't worry I never would) if he actually gets sober and in recovery. Like it is my fault for telling them what HE has done.
Yea, no way Jose! You did it, you fix it.
LMAO I love that!
It's not my job to repair the hate and distrust my friends and family have for him if we ever get back together (don't worry I never would) if he actually gets sober and in recovery. Like it is my fault for telling them what HE has done.
Yea, no way Jose! You did it, you fix it.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
It's not my job to console friends & family who suddenly feel displaced because they don't understand the changes in our lives since AH has been living sober.
It's not my job to point out that some of that discomfort is likely due to them judging themselves over their own obvious addictions.
Hello Pot, have you met Kettle?
It's not my job to point out that some of that discomfort is likely due to them judging themselves over their own obvious addictions.
Hello Pot, have you met Kettle?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Great thread Grizz!
It's not my job to cover for her...
Originally Posted by grizz 
I was on my way home from work yesterday and was thinking about how I, being a codie, try to make sure that everything runs smooth and the waters are calm. And then it hit me, that's not my job! So it will be interesting to see what kind of list can get started of what is not our job.
Its not my job to worry about how my AW reacts or doesnt react to situations.
Its not my job to worry about how my AW reacts or doesnt react to situations.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
thank you grizz - great idea for a thread, xAH and I are 9/10 months divorced and I have done pretty well with dropping all the responsibilities of other's that I had picked up, but there were so many it occaissionally occurs that I am still doing some of them,
this week I have realised that it is not my rsponsibility to
-forward his mail (still! all going back return to sender now)
-remind him every month that he has missed the cs payment, if he is late again I am going straight to having it collected centrally.
but shaking the learned responsibility for alleviating and not prompting other people's negative feelings is what I find hardest to drop, I do it on automatic, but I am learning! (slowly......)
this week I have realised that it is not my rsponsibility to
-forward his mail (still! all going back return to sender now)
-remind him every month that he has missed the cs payment, if he is late again I am going straight to having it collected centrally.
but shaking the learned responsibility for alleviating and not prompting other people's negative feelings is what I find hardest to drop, I do it on automatic, but I am learning! (slowly......)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Winchester, VA
Posts: 129
It's not my job to find you things to do other than drinking to keep your mind occupied in your recent "I'm going to get sober on my own and make things right" quest!
And it's not my job to make excuses to your elderly parents why you never answer their calls or go and see them.
Adventure, time to get a lock on that door!!!
And it's not my job to make excuses to your elderly parents why you never answer their calls or go and see them.
Adventure, time to get a lock on that door!!!
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Originally Posted by m1k3
It's not my job to fix the world. 
~~~~~
It's not my job to sober up my family.
It's not my job to help them feel normal by coming around them.
It's not my job to convince them that it is okay for me to distance myself from them.
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