Introduction and repost from other section
 

Hello, it's so nice to find this forum. I originally posted on the general newcomers forum, and then someone mentioned this one, so I wanted to give it a try. Here's my original post:

My father is a severe alcoholic. He drinks 24/7, and has done so for at least 5, probably closer to 10 years. I do not live at home (in a different state) anymore but my mother (parents are still together), told me that my dad eats very little and that even if he does it, he says he hardly ever feels like eating. He has very little energy and often naps a few times a day (he's 52). He has lost a lot of weight over the past couple of years and his appetite has steadily declined. My parents are not financially well off, my mom provides for them both, and I assume has insurance coverage for my dad as well. Dad has never been a fan of doctors and hospitals and goes only when he is in severe severe pain.

I just have a feeling this is the start of the end for my dad. I'm not sure if recovery is possible for him but for financial reasons I don't see it happening. I know a little about what happens with liver disease and all of the other complications. All the pain and time and money...I just don't know how to prepare myself for it, and I don't know how my parents can get through it.

Please don't think I'm standing idly by and have given up. If there is hope of recovery for him still (with financial help) please give me your thoughts. I'm sort of a realist I guess. Maybe it's not the end. I guess what I'm searching for is this: can he physically recover still (in your experience/opinion)? any personal experiences with loved ones that have or have had this severe alcoholism, and advice, suggestions, stories for preparing and coping with the last years of the life of an alcoholic.

Thank you very much for your time and thoughts.

(New post)
I received replies stating that he can still recover and things that I can do. I am currently gathering up the courage to start the process. It's scary because I've spent a long time taking care of myself and removed myself from the pain for awhile. My dad doesn't say much about wanting help as far as I know. Thanks again for any thoughts, ideas, and encouragement.

All I know after reading and learning about this disease, is that only the A can get himself/herself the help. We can't love them sober or make them get recovery. I read the book Under the Influence and Beyond the Influence which helped me know what was happening. There is also some good information about trying to get the loved one help, though I feel like the advice is mute as only the A can decide he/she has a problem and get help. Thousands and tens of thousands can be thrown into rehab facilities but many times the A relapses because he/she doesn't want to quit drinking. I know it is never too late to get help if the A wants it, and wants to live sober.

I think the best advice I could give is to get into Al-Anon and keep coming back here. Those two things have helped me.

Welcome to the SR family!

Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself. I hope you will make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. We are here to support you.

I find reading in the sticky posts helpful. Sticky posts are older,permanent posts that are preserved at the top of each forum section. They are available for reading, re-reading because of the information/wisdom contained in these helpful posts.

Here are some of my favorite stickies:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

The following link contains excerpts from the book "Under the Influence". That is an excellent resource for understanding how a person can become completely addicted to alcohol:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Alanon meetings are something that helped me. Alanon is based on the same 12 steps as AA, but tailored to meet the needs of the family of alcoholics. AA and Alanon meetings are free. They do pass a basket for $1 donation , if you can, to offset costs for the meeting space. AA and Alanon are spiritual based, not religious based support groups.

How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico