Al Anon or Coda?

Old 06-19-2012, 09:46 AM
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Al Anon or Coda?

Is Al Anon still applicable to me if I'm no longer in a relationship wtih my ABF? My counsellor suggested I check out a Coda meeting (I must be seriously hardcore codie) for when I'm feeling low and need to talk etc. aside from counselling. I can't find a Coda meeting near me and wasn't sure which would be more appropriate, or if it matters? Anyone been to both?

I keep worrying about my X's DUI and how he was when I last saw him and am trying to repeat mantra: he is not my responsibility, worrying about him won't achieve anything etc. but struggling a bit. I tried giving him back to God and handing him over to his care but still woke up at 5am worrying about it.

On the plus side, I've booked a holiday - going to spend a week in France in wine country (something I felt I couldn't do with XA given situation) with my mum. It felt good to do somethign for myself but then I felt guilty that X wouldn't get a break and needed one. Insane???!!! He had the chance at an amazing holiday I paid for and he drank day two and ruined it and our relationship with it. I know how illogical and nuts me feeling guilty sounds so why do I still feel it?

Thanks for listening.
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:49 AM
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Is Al Anon still applicable to me if I'm no longer in a relationship wtih my ABF?
Yes. The tools you get in Al-Anon are applicable regardless of whether you're in a relationship with an A or not. The damage an alcoholic relationship does tends to stick with you, and it's healthy to get help navigating it.

Never been to a CODA meeting, so I can't help you there.

The guilt? Guilt is a useless emotion. It's purpose is to tell you that you've done something wrong. You haven't done anything wrong. So tell that guilt to go bugger off. And enjoy the trip with your mom!!!
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